The Simpsons Season 19 Episode 7: "Husbands and Knives" Quotes
(Homer explaining his surgery to Bart and Lisa)
Homer: Kids, daddy underwent a special procedure so he can be more attractive to your mother.
Bart: You had your hot dog plumped?
Homer: No! I had my stomach stapled!
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(Comic Book Guy is destroying Coolsville.)
Art Spiegelman: Oh, no! The store's in trouble!
Alan Moore: League of Extraordinary Freelancers, activate!
(Art Spiegelman puts on a Maus mask.)
Art Spiegelman: Maus is in the house!
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(Comic Book Guy bursts into Coolsville.)
Comic Book Guy: Attention, comic book aficionados! (Points at Milo) This man is not one of us. (Comic Book Guy points at Strawberry, crowd gasps.) He has a girlfriend!
Strawberry: My name is Strawberry. My purse is a lunch box.
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Lisa: I really identified with the girls in Ghost World. They made me feel like I wasn't so alone.
Dan Clowes: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do you know anyone at Batman? 'Cause I really want to draw Batman, I'm awesome at utility belts. (points to a picture of a utility belt.)
Dan Clowes: Check these out. This is where the Batman keeps his money in case he has to take the bus.
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Milhouse: Mr. Moore, will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies? Which of the babies is your favorite?
Alan Moore: You see what those bloody corporations do? They take your ideas and they suck them! Suck them like leeches until they've gotten every last drop of marrow from your bones!
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Bart: Alan Moore, you wrote my favorite issues of Radioactive Man.
Alan Moore: Oh really, so you liked that I made your favorite superhero a heroin addicted jazz critic who's not radioactive?
Bart: I don't read the words. I just like when he punches people. How do you make his costume stick so close to his muscles?
Alan Moore: Ughhh.
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Opal: Marge, I thank you for creating Shapes. And, uh, my boyfriend thanks you, too!
Opal's audience: Oooooh!
Marge: When is Straightman going to pop the question?
Opal: Uh... uh... You're all getting German cuckoo clocks!
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(A local Krusty Burger is closed down.)
Krusty: (Sobbing) I can't believe the Labor Board is shutting me down.
Labor Board Official: You lock your workers in at night!
Krusty: It's so they can't tell their stories!
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(Comic Book Guy has just noticed a new comic store that has opened up across the street.)
Comic Book Guy: Philip K Dick! It can't be! It's as if Superman moved to Gotham City!
Martin: Which he did, in World's Finest Comics #94. (Points to the comic.) See?
Comic Book Guy: That was an imaginary story, dreamt by Jimmy Olsen after he was kicked in the head by Supergirl's horse, Comet. It never really happened.
Bart: None of these things ever really happened.
Comic Book Guy: Get out of my store.
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Comic Book Guy: Nice work, Doctor Boo-Who. Your tears have smudged Wolverine's iconic sideburns. Hence, you must buy this comic. And the cost of your innocent accident is... 25 dollars, please.
Milhouse: But that's the money Yaya Sophia gave me for Greek Orthodox Easter.
Comic Book Guy: (Sighs) I hate when they tell me things about themselves.
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Homer: We're gonna be rich! We can finally afford to start a family!
Marge: We have a family!
Homer: A better one!
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These books are meant to be read and enjoyed, not hoarded and then sold when you get divorced.Milo
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