The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 17: "Last Exit to Springfield" Quotes
This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon they'll have written the greatest novel known to man. Lets see. It was the best of times, it was the "blurst" of times! You stupid monkey!Mr. Burns
(knock on door)
Homer: Who is it?
Goon: Hired goons.
Mr. Burns: We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: (thinking) Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: (thinking) Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Mr. Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: (thinking) My God! He is coming onto me!
Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. (chuckle, wink)
Homer: (thinking) Aaahh! Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!
Mr. Burns: Look at him, Smithers. Exercising away. While the others are off at the candy machine.
Homer: Hey, Lenny, can you get this Sugar Daddy off my back?
Lenny: Okay, but it's the last time!
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? New man?
Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude...
Mr. Burns: Doesn't ring a bell.
Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.Homer
Bart: Dr. Wolfe likes to pull kids' teeth so he can sell 'em.
Kid: To who?
Bart: Know that rattle when you shake up a can of spray paint? That's a kid's tooth!
Dr. Wolfe: How often do you brush, Ralph.
Ralph: Three times a day, sir.
Dr. Wolfe: Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?
Mr. Burns: And this is my basement. (Reveals a traditional unfinished basement, complete with ping-pong table)
Homer: Gee, it's not as nice as the other rooms.
Mr. Burns: Yes, I really should stop ending the tour with it.
Homer: What does this job pay?
Carl: Unless you're crooked.
Look at him strutting around like he's cock of the walk. Well, let me tell you. Homer Simpson is cock of nothing.Mr. Burns
Kent Brockman: Tonight on Smartline, the power plant strike, Arglebargle or Fufferella. With us tonight our plant owner C.M. Burns, Union Kingpin Homer Simpson, and talk show mainstay Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Dr. Joyce: I brought my own mic!