The Simpsons

The Simpsons "Last Exit to Springfield" Quotes

Carl: What do we want?
All: More equitable treatment at the hands of management!
Carl: When do we want it?
All: Soon!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Burns: Look at him strutting around like he's c**k of the walk. Well, let me tell you. Homer Simpson is c**k of nothing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: What does this job pay?
Carl: Nothing.
Homer: D'oh!
Carl: Unless you're crooked.
Homer: Whoo-hoo!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Mr. Burns: And this is my basement. (Reveals a traditional unfinished basement, complete with ping-pong table)
Homer: Gee, it's not as nice as the other rooms.
Mr. Burns: Yes, I really should stop ending the tour with it.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Dr. Wolfe: How often do you brush, Ralph.
Ralph: Three times a day, sir.
Dr. Wolfe: Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Bart: Dr. Wolfe likes to pull kids' teeth so he can sell 'em.
Kid: To who?
Bart: Know that rattle when you shake up a can of spray paint? That's a kid's tooth!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Homer: Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? New man?
Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude...
Mr. Burns: Doesn't ring a bell.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Mr. Burns: Look at him, Smithers. Exercising away. While the others are off at the candy machine.
Homer: Hey, Lenny, can you get this Sugar Daddy off my back?
Lenny: Okay, but it's the last time!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Mr. Burns: We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: (thinking) Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: (thinking) Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Mr. Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: (thinking) My God! He is coming onto me!
Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. (chuckle, wink)
Homer: (thinking) Aaahh! Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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