The Simpsons

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Homer: The therapy was too effective.
Dr. Zander: Ah, yes. One of the most common complaints about therapy.

Sue me for what? My home in a hallowed out tree?

Dr. Zander

That's ridiculous. How could two people from the same family need therapy?

Homer

I can't quit drinking anymore than I can quit being a man. [takes a drink] Now it feels like a morning.

Homer

Dr. Zander: After two more weeks of sessions...
Homer: I lied about having health insurance.
Dr. Zander: You're cured.

Dr. Zander, you made me see my life through Bart's neck.

Homer

You have a good heart, Kareem. That's why you're the only Laker I can trust with this.

Dr. Zander

Strangling, it's not the only tool in my parenting toolbox, but it's my sharpest.

Homer

Marge: Just cause everyone else is doing the wave doesn't mean you have to.
Homer: No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it.

Well, it was your idea to give him self-esteem to begin with!

Homer

I hope you kids are enjoying this [stadium] because you and your children will be paying for this long after the team leaves the city.

Homer

I can't do it. A balloon saved one of my arteries. It wouldn't seem right to shoot one of his cousins.

Carl
Displaying all 12 quotes

The Simpsons Season 22 Episode 17 Quotes

I hope you kids are enjoying this [stadium] because you and your children will be paying for this long after the team leaves the city.

Homer

I can't do it. A balloon saved one of my arteries. It wouldn't seem right to shoot one of his cousins.

Carl