Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Joey Ramone: I'd just like to say this gig sucks.
Johnny Ramone: Hey, up yours Springfield. One, two, three, four!
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Burnsy.
The Ramones: Happy birthday to you!
C.J. Ramone: Go to Hell you old bastard.
Marky Ramone: Hey, I think they liked us!
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't--
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

(to Bobo) This is all YOUR fault!!!

Hitler

Ice Delivery Man: You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!
Apu: If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.

Homer: Ooh, where did I lose 'em? I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again.
Lisa: I'd like to believe that this time. I really would.
Marge: Bart, run down to the store and get a big bag of ice for your father.
Bart: Yes'm. (to Homer) Dad, I know you're discouraged, but please don't deny the world your fat can.
Homer: Don't worry, boy. He'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday.
Lisa: I knew it.

Nelson: My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man! Let's get him!
Jimbo: Wait, why are we getting him?
Martin: Look, fellows. The first snapdragon of the season.
Nelson: Nevermind. Let's get him!

Homer: Here's an impression of Mr. Burns that you might find a little... cheeky.
(drops his pants to reveal a sad face painted on his butt; the audience gasps)
Homer: (shaking his butt) I'm Mr. Burns. Blah blah blah. Do this, do that. Blah blah blah. I think I'm so big. Blah blah blah...
Mr. Burns: (quietly furious) Destroy him.
(Two guards advance on Homer and club him over the head.)

Displaying quotes 25 - 30 of 30 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Smithers: I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot.
(Audience gasps)
Smithers: And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!
Homer: Are you ready to laugh?
Man: That poor dog.

Mr. Burns: Ah, yes. Naturally, I can't pay you much of a reward because I'm strapped for cash.
(The ceiling above gives way; money and jewels pour down on him.)
Mr. Burns: As you can see, this old place is falling apart. But I'm sure we can come to an understanding.

x Close Ad