Homer: Ooh, where did I lose 'em? I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again.
Lisa: I'd like to believe that this time. I really would.
Marge: Bart, run down to the store and get a big bag of ice for your father.
Bart: Yes'm. (to Homer) Dad, I know you're discouraged, but please don't deny the world your fat can.
Homer: Don't worry, boy. He'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday.
Lisa: I knew it.


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The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Homer: Mmmm... 64 slices of American cheese.
(sits down at the table with the stack of slices)
Homer: 64... (eats it) 63... (eats it)
(The next morning)
Homer: Two... (eats it very slowly) one... (eats it)
(Marge walks in)
Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: (slurred) I think I'm blind...

Smithers: I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot.
(Audience gasps)
Smithers: And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!
Homer: Are you ready to laugh?
Man: That poor dog.