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Moe: I brought you a little present. (Gives Homer a can of beer)
Homer: No. Beer bring pain.
Barney: I can't stand to see him like this. (Shoves a pillow in Homer's face. He than lifts up a water fountain, throws it at a window, jumps out and runs away)
Moe: He really needs a girlfriend.
- Permalink: I brought you a little present. No. Beer bring pain. I can...
TV Announcer: The following is a public service announcement. Excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver damage and cancer of the rectum.
Homer: Mmm... beer.
- Permalink: The following is a public service announcement. Excessive alcoho...
I am interested in long-distance savings. Very interested.Squeaky-Voiced Teen
- Permalink: I am interested in long-distance savings. Very interested.
Marge: You lost 5% of your brain.
Homer: Me lose brain? Uh-oh! (Everyone including Homer laughs)
Homer: Why I laugh?
- Permalink: You lost 5% of your brain. Me lose brain? Uh-oh! Why I laug...
Grampa: Why I go in and out of coma's all the .............. french toast please.
Lisa: Is a coma painful?
Grampa: Oh heck no. You relive long lost summers, kiss girls from high school. It's like one of those TV shows where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes.
- Permalink: Why I go in and out of coma's all the .............. french toas...
Oh Marge. What if I wind up as some vegetable watching TV on the couch. My important work will never be completed.Homer
- Permalink: Oh Marge. What if I wind up as some vegetable watching TV on the...
Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid your husband is dead. (classic laugh) April Fools. He's very much alive, although I'm afraid he may never walk again.Dr. Hibbert
- Permalink: Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid your husband is dead. April Fools. He'...
It's a good thing that beer wasn't shooken up any more, or I'd have looked quite the fool. An April Fool, as it were.Homer
- Permalink: It's a good thing that beer wasn't shooken up any more, or I'd h...
Homer: And that's the story of April Fools Day.
Lisa: Dad, I was telling the story!
- Permalink: And that's the story of April Fools Day. Dad, I was telling th...
Bart: You're going down, Homer. I'm gonna fool you!
Homer: You talk better than you fool.
Bart: I'll fool you up real nice.
Homer: You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
- Permalink: You're going down, Homer. I'm gonna fool you! You talk better ...
Eddie: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place.
Chief Wiggum: Forget it. That's two blocks away.
Eddie: Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney!
Chief Wiggum: (Gets out of car) I am proceeding on foot. Call in a Code 8.
Eddie: (Into radio) We need pretzels. Repeat, pretzels.
- Permalink: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place. Forge...
God bless those pagans.Homer
- Permalink: God bless those pagans.