Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

(Bart fills out Homer's psychiatric form for him.)
Bart: Dad, do you hear voices?
Homer: (Annoyed) Yes, I hear voices, although I'm trying to watch TV.
Bart: (Checks "yes") Check. Are you quick to anger?
Homer: (Upset) Bart! Shut up, or I will shut you up.
Bart: (Checks "yes") Check. Do you wet your pants? Hmm, well I guess if that was an occasional accident.
(Starts checking "yes" to every question.)

Leon: Hi. I'm Michael Jackson, from the Jacksons.
Homer: I'm Homer Simpson, from the Simpsons.

Psychiatrist: Mrs. Simpson, I'm sorry, but your husband suffers from a persecution complex, extreme paranoia, and bladder hostility.
Marge: Doctor, if you just talk to him for five minutes without mentioning our son Bart, you'd see how sane he is.
Psychiatrist: You mean there really is a Bart?! Good Lord!

Joe's crematorium...you kill 'em, we grill 'em.

</i> Bart

(Mr. Burns and Smithers review the security camera footage at the power plant.)
Mr. Burns: Wait a minute. Go back.
(Tape rewinds)
Mr. Burns: Zoom in.
(Screen zooms in to Homer.)
Mr. Burns: Why is that man in pink?
Smithers: That's Homer Simpson, sir. He's one of your boobs from Sector 7-G.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? Well, judging by his outlandish attire, he's some sort of free-thinking anarchist.
Smithers: I'll call security, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.

Displaying quotes 19 - 23 of 23 in total