Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX

Homer: Time to do what I do best: Lie to a child.

Moustache power, activate!


Martin: Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot.
Bart: Well said!
(After Martin's line, a title appears: faggot (fag et) n. a bundle of sticks for fuel. [Fr. fagot, a bundle of sticks]

No man should have to out live his fictional wizard! (sobs)


Bart: Where is Nelson?
Skinner: I'm sorry. Nelson never woke up.
Bart: What?!
Skinner: Never woke up because he never passed out -- he's right over there.

(Tucking Lisa into bed) Okay. Tucked in tight, glass of water, night light on, no barn owls, don't do drugs, love you, good night!


Nelson: Bart where are you going? I saved you a seat, best friend.
Lisa: Ha-ha!

Marge: Bartholomew J. Simpson! How can you be so mean?
Bart: What can you do about it?
(She whacks him on the head with a spoon.)
Bart: Hey!
Marge: I'll whack you with the whole salad set if you don't start thinking about others!

Trust me Bart, it's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them.

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