Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Well, class the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test. America was now discovered in 1942 by... ''some guy.'' And our country isn't called America any more. It's Bonerland.

Mrs. Krabappel

Hey, this is fun, isn't it! We're gonna die, aren't we!

Otto

He gets it from your side of the family, you know. No monsters on my side.

Homer

Come to think of it, the guy that sold me this thing did say the wishes would bring grave misfortune. I thought he was just being colorful.

Homer

Woman #1: If I hear one more thing about the Simpsons, I swear, I'm going to scream.
Woman #2: At first they were cute and funny, but now they are just annoying.

Vendor: Sir, I must strongly advise you: Do not purchase this. Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune. I, myself, was once president of Algeria.
Homer: Come on, pal, I don't want to hear your life story. Paw me!

Marge: If you eat too much, you'll have nightmares.
Bart: Oh yeah, everybody in the family is going to have bad nightmares tonight, ha!
Lisa: Oh yeah, three bad nightmares.
Homer: I'd like to see that! Heh heh heh!

Hello, everyone. Before last year's Halloween show, I warned you not to let your children watch. But you did anyway. Well, this year's episode is even worse. It's scarier, more violent, and I think they snuck in some bad language, too. So please, tuck in your children and-- (sighing) --well, if you didn't listen to me last time, you're not going to now. Enjoy the show.

Marge

Mr. Burns: Will you quit your complaining!
Smithers: Sir, You know what this means? He is alive.
Mr. Burns: Oh, you're right Smithers; I guess I owe you a Coke.

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