The Simpsons

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Come to think of it, the guy that sold me this thing did say the wishes would bring grave misfortune. I thought he was just being colorful.

Homer

Woman #1: If I hear one more thing about the Simpsons, I swear, I'm going to scream.
Woman #2: At first they were cute and funny, but now they are just annoying.

Vendor: Sir, I must strongly advise you: Do not purchase this. Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune. I, myself, was once president of Algeria.
Homer: Come on, pal, I don't want to hear your life story. Paw me!

Marge: If you eat too much, you'll have nightmares.
Bart: Oh yeah, everybody in the family is going to have bad nightmares tonight, ha!
Lisa: Oh yeah, three bad nightmares.
Homer: I'd like to see that! Heh heh heh!

Hello, everyone. Before last year's Halloween show, I warned you not to let your children watch. But you did anyway. Well, this year's episode is even worse. It's scarier, more violent, and I think they snuck in some bad language, too. So please, tuck in your children and-- (sighing) --well, if you didn't listen to me last time, you're not going to now. Enjoy the show.

Marge

Mr. Burns: Will you quit your complaining!
Smithers: Sir, You know what this means? He is alive.
Mr. Burns: Oh, you're right Smithers; I guess I owe you a Coke.

Marge: It's your father, he's missing.
Bart: Dad's missing? Get outta here!
Marge: He's been gone for two days!
Lisa: What do you know, she's right!

Smithers: It's the man in the bag sir; I think he's still alive!
(Mr. Burns beats the bag with a shovel.)
Mr. Burns: Bad corpse, bad corpse! Stop scaring Smithers! Satisfied?
Smithers: Thank you, sir.

Lisa/Bart: Mom, dad!
Marge: My goodness what's wrong?
Bart: We both had nightmares!
Lisa: Can we sleep with you?
Homer: Are you both toilet trained?
Lisa: Yes!
Homer: Oh okay then...

Krusty: (Laughs weakly) Well, we're still on... three hundred and forty- six consecutive hours, and all because of one little boy who--Who won't let me stop! (Delirious) Okay, now let's go and see if Sideshow Mel has any more of those legal over-the-counter wakeup drugs of his.
Audience: Yaaaaaay!

Lisa: Bart, Bart! I had a bad dream; can I sleep in your bed?
Bart: No!
Lisa: I'll give you a candy necklace...
Bart: Climb aboard.

I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (Homer eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!

Homer
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 30 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 7 Quotes

Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!

Kang and Kodos

People of Earth! We come to you in the spirit of hostility and menace!

Kang and Kodos
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