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I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars!


Evil Spirit: Get out.
Marge: What on earth was that?
Homer: Probably just the house settling.

(Lisa finishes reading The Raven.)
Bart: Lisa, that wasn't scary, not even for a poem.
Lisa: Well, it was written in 1845. Maybe people were easier to scare back then.
Bart: Oh, yeah. Like when you look at Friday the 13th, part one. It's pretty tame by today's standards.

(Kang shows off his TV to the Simpsons.)
Kang: On this cable system, we receive over one million channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
Bart: You get HBO?
Kang: No. That would cost extra.

(In the evil house, Marge catches the rest of the family trying to kill each other with knives.)
Marge: That does it. Children, get dressed. We're leaving.
Homer: Come on, Marge. You said you'd sleep on it.
Marge: I don't care what I said. This family has had its differences and we've squabbled, but we've never had knife fights before, and I blame this house.

(Lisa confronts Kang and Kodos.)
Lisa: Well, why were you trying to make us eat all the time?
Kang: Make you eat? We merely provided a sumptuous banquet. Frankly, you people made pigs of yourselves.
Serak the Preparer: (Crying) I slaved in the kitchen for days for you people. And
Kang: Well, if you wanted to make Serak the Preparer cry, mission accomplished.

Listen, you big, stupid space creature, nobody, but nobody, eats the Simpsons!

</i> Homer

(Serak the Preparer provides the Simpson family with a bounty of food.)
Marge: Well, thank you very much, Mr.--
Serak the Preparer: To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.

(Homer barbeques on the back patio.)
Marge: (Groans) Homer, all these flies.
Homer: Not to worry. I'll just turn on the trusty bug zapper.
(The sound of a few bugs being zapped is then followed by a large zapping noise.)
Homer: Ooh, that was a big mama! (Chuckles)

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