Lou: No sign of the Serpent.
Wiggum: It's always work with you.

Woman 1: When will we meet the count?
Woman 2: Do you think he'll like us?
Man: I've heard rumors he's mysterious.

Marge: Revenge never solves anything!
Homer: (sarcastically) Then what's America doing in Iraq?

Bart: (Crashes through window) Party's over, Serpent.
Wiggum: No kidding, you're standing in the dip.

(after Lisa's story) Wow! That had what I really like in a story - an ending!

Homer

Now we have three ways to talk about revenge, although the first two were sort of the same, and even the third would have worked better as a Halloween Story.

Bart

Snake: Hand over your wallet.
Homer: You don't frighten me!
(Snake shoots Homer)
Homer: Or my wife!
(Snake shoots Marge)
Homer: Or my--
Marge: Shut up!

Texan: Look at all them stars How many do you think there are?
Homer: Two.

I hate this Homer jerk with his beautiful wife and loving family, when all I got is this doorway.

Moe

Judge: I sentence you to life.
Homer: You moron, I'm already alive.
Judge: In prison!

Lenny: (to Homer) Now get some sleep, you have a 9 AM rat helmet.
Homer: 9 AM!?

(to Martin) You are so dead that you're alive.

Dolph

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

(reading his poem)
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.

Homer

(During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.)
Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies? (Laughs)
(Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.)
Smithers: (Laughs) Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening.
Mr. Burns: I know what I did. Urghh.