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The-simpsons

Lisa: One thing I've always wondered How can Fox News be so conservative when the Fox Network keeps airing raunchy shows? They don't fit together.
(Lisa then proceeds to flips channels between Fox News and Fox Network until Kent Brockman takes the remote control away from her.)
Kent: Fox deliberately runs shows that will earn them huge fines which are then funneled through the F.C.C. straight to the Republican Party. Everybody in the media knows it, but no one has the guts to say it.

Son of a beachball, they escaped.

Bart

(Homer picks up the bomb which has 7 seconds left till it blows)
Homer: Oh a thermos! And it has 7 cups of coffee left.
(The bomb changes to 6)
Homer: No wait, 6.
Lisa: Dad! That's a bomb!
Homer: Ah! You take it!

Jack Bauer: Bart Simpson, 12 minutes ago you made a very annoying prank phone call to me. I pulled every agent off of their assignment to track you down and bring you to justice. It was a tough call but I think I made the right one.
(nuke goes off)
(crowd gasps)
Jack Bauer: Don't worry. That was just Shelbyville.
(crowd sighs with relief)

Homer: (To Milhouse) Cops. Act natural.
Homer (Imitating a woman) Oh hello officer!
Chief Wiggum: (While driving by) Oh hello, Ma'am! (To self) What is it about a women and a dumpster.

Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it back, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've already read it.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.

Previously on 24 I mean The Simpsons.

Jack Bauer

Skinner: Okay, you have a deal, you conniving little (whispers in Bart's ear)
Bart: Wow, that's a swear!?
Skinner: Used as a noun, it is.

Teens? In Willie's hidey-hole? I'll mop up your blood from the inside!

Groundskeeper Willie
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