Homer: I am as healthy as a horse.
Marge: Horses only live thirty years.

A fat kid with a dream. I can't compete with that.


He's just Ralph with a dream, the dream of not ralphing.


Homer: Whoo hoo! I've got a date with my daughter!
Cletus: Yeah, we've all been there. No need to act like you just invented air conditioning.

I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.


Justin Blobber over there doesn't remind you of anyone?


Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.

Skinner: So from now on our cafeteria will only serve delicious Stuffwich's heroes, hoagies, and torpedoes.
Nelson: What about po' boys?
Skinner: Sorry, Nelson. Poor boys, such as yourself, will go hungry.

The only thing that keeps me from living here is that fish that swims up your pee stream. That is a deal breaker.


Skinner! I have seven other principals, and I've never yelled their names. Not even once.


Why are you concussing yourself? Why are you concussing yourself?


Emojis! Now she's gone to far.


The Simpsons Season 25 Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.


A minute of fun a lifetime of work. I've never heard of a pregnancy like this.