The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 3 Episode 23: "Bart's Friend Falls in Love"

Lisa: Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting or lifting a finger?
Homer: I'd say you're a lying scumbag, why sweety?
Lisa: Arcording to Eternity Magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is subtly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.
Homer: Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter.
 • Rating: Unrated

Millhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when they're out of chocolate milk, you cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.
 • Rating: Unrated

Samantha: How do we know when we fall in love?
Kraboppel: Oh, don't you worry. Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Will I pass my English test? .... Outlook not so good. Wow, it does work.
 • Rating: Unrated

Milhouse: Let me try! Will I get beat up today? ... All signs point to yes
Nelson: That ball knows everything. *punch*
 • Rating: Unrated

Skinner: Now It's never easy to come to a new school so let's make her feel right at home. Please say a big Elementary school hello to Samantha Stinky!
Samantha: Stanky.
Skinner: Oh, right....how embarrassing for you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Samantha: All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that you're all probably used to...but I'm not.
Edna: It'll take you about six weeks, dear.
 • Rating: Unrated

Troy McClure: That night came the Honeymoon....
Kids: Eeeeeew!
Edna: She's faking it!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Milhouse: Uh, that's a nice dress.
Samantha: My dad makes me wear it, I hate it!
Milhouse: Well I hate it too!
 • Rating: Unrated

Milhouse: How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet but it ended up in tragedy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: Hey Bart, according to this magazine, in another million years, man will have an extra finger!
Bart: Five fingers...ooh, freak show!
 • Rating: Unrated

Samantha: We just moved here from Phoenix. My dad owns a home security company. He came to Springfield because of its high crime rate and lackluster police force.
 • Rating: Unrated

Troy: Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly and Here Comes the Metric System. I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man half-apelike creature?
Edna: I'm sorry, that would be playing God.
Bart: God shmod! I want my monkey-man!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Hey, what's with the skirt?
Milhouse: I've brought friends to this tree house before.
Bart: Yeah, but never a girl. What if I want to strut around nude?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kent Brockman: Good evening. Did you know that 34 million American adults are obese? Putting together that excess blubber would fill the Grand Canyon two fifths of the way up. That may not sound impressive, but keep in mind it is a very big canyon.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Homer, has the weight loss tape reduced your appetite?
Homer: Ah, lamentably no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satieties.
 • Rating: Unrated

Martin: This is the first time anyone has ever sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by twenty minutes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: You can read comics with us. Let's see...something for the lady. Ah, Radioactive Man vs. the Swamp Hog.
Samantha: Do you have any girl comics? Like Bonnie Craine, Girl Attorney, Punkin & Dunkin, The Twinkle Twins, or Lil' Kneesocks?
Bart: No, but my sister's got a wide selection of crappy comics.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Milhouse, we're living at the age of cooties. I can't believe the risk you're running. Besides, what's so great about kissing?
Milhouse: Bart it's just not the kissing a lot of it is waiting to kiss you know like when you open an Eskimo Pie and you wait just a little bit for it to melt?
Bart: But she doesn't melt.
Milhouse: Oh, yes she does.
 • Rating: Unrated

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