The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 3 Episode 23: "Bart's Friend Falls in Love"

Mr. Stanky: Samantha, you're my little girl, and sometimes my imagination runs away with me. Just, just tell me what happened.
Samantha: Well Milhouse and I
Mr. Stanky: That's enough!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Dad, do you know what today is?
Homer: The vernal equinox?
Lisa: No! It's been two weeks since you got that tape. Let's get you on the scale!
(Homer gets on the scale)
You've gained thirteen pounds.
Homer: Disingenuous mountebanks with their subliminal chicanery! A pox on them!
(discards tape)
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 22: "The Otto Show"

Bart: Otto-Man? You're living in a dumpster?
Otto: Ho, man, I wish. Dumpster-brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Otto, you are the coolest adult ever!
Otto: Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but I've been tried as one.
 • Rating: Unrated

Patty: When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?
Otto: Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I mean I don't want to offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me; I'm open-minded.
Patty: (Dropping the green pen) We won't be needing this.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Otto: I guess I am a bum...
Bart: Homer didn't call you a bum, he called you a sponge.
Otto: SPONGE?! (Punches wall) I'll show him what this sponge can do!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Martin: Although I'm sure I will receive a severe wedgie from my bus-mates, I must remind you that we should have been at school ten minutes ago.
Otto: Uh oh, better fasten your seatbelts little dudes.
Lisa: We don't have seatbelts.
Otto: Uh, well, then just try to go limp.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Wow, my concert going jacket still fits! And this is where I used to hide my beer. (gasp) Billy beer!
 • Rating: Unrated

Spinal Tap: I just walked out there and there's puddles of water all over the freakin' stage.
Guy: Huh, I don't wanna lie to you boys. Six days a week this place is a hockey rink.
Spinal Tap: Yeah, well this is a rock concert not the bleeding splish splash show.
 • Rating: Unrated

Spinal Tap: Well, it seems some silly twit did not get a big enough oxygen tank, but that's supposed to be a devil. Filled up with air it's very evil and impressive. We salute you, our half inflated Dark Lord!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Mom, I wanna be a rockstar.
Marge: Hmmmmm we'll discuss it later. Is Milhouse okay?
Homer: Uh, I'll be right back....
Milhouse: Heeeelp.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nelson: Hey Simpson, what are you trying to play?
Bart: Polly-Wally-Doodle.
Nelson: Oh yeah, well it sounds Polly-Wally-Crappy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lou: Let's see your license, pal!
Otto: No can-do, never got one. But if you need proof of my identity I wrote my name on my underwear. Oh wait, these aren't mine!
 • Rating: Unrated

Patty: Ha, ha, ha.
Selma: What's so funny?
Patty: I was just thinking about the time Homer got his nose caught in the toaster.
Selma: We'll watch the tape tonight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Otto: All right, yeah, so how did I do?
Patty: Well you failed every segment, and misspelled bus on your application.
 • Rating: Unrated

Otto: Can I at least get my stuff?
Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old Psycho magazines.
Otto: Wow! I have mustard?
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Rough day, Apu? Help me a squishee and don't spare the syrup.
Apu: Oh, perhaps you would like to try an experimental flavor of my own concoction. A delicious Chutney Squishee.
Bart: Oh... okayslurp
Apu: You can really taste the chutney!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket!
Milhouse: It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kent Brockman: Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporter's opinion, the answer, sadly, is 'yes'.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Now, boy, we spent a lot of money, so you'd better get real good real fast, or POW!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.
 • Rating: Unrated

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