The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Quotes
Chuck: Good afternoon sir, I'm Chuck Ellis from the Springfield Collection Agency, and I'm here to ask you why you think you don't need to pay your bills!
Homer: Oh, I know I disobey them but there's just so many!
Chuck: Does it make you feel good about yourself to owe people money. We've been very patient with you Mr. Flanders
Homer: I know but.... wait a minute, I'm Homer Simpson! Ned Flanders lives over there.
(Watching rotating vending machine) Apple, apple, apple...come on, candy bar! (Looking at an apple.) Hey, I know you! You're that first apple I didn't want!
Homer
Look, I don't care if Ned Flanders is the nicest guy in the world, he's a jerk! End of story!
Homer
See Marge, you knock TV and then it helps you out. I think you owe someone an apology.
Homer
Flanders: Even the good book can't help me now!
Homer: Why not?
Flanders: I sold it to you for seven cents!
Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?
Homer: (sarcastically) No, I do not know what Schadenfreude is. Please tell me, because I'm dying to know!
Lisa: It's a German term for 'shameful joy', taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt!
Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.
Marge
Ned: See anything you like?
Homer: Oh, I get it! It's not good enough for you, but it's good enough for me! Well, I wouldn't be caught dead buying this... (spies something) hello!
Akira: We learn karate, so that we need never use it.
Bart: Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchucks?
It's all here, and it's all backwards!
Homer
Well, the worm has turned, has it not, my tin-plated friend? Look out, you. You who were once so proud! Feel the wrath of the left hand of Burns!
Mr. Burns
Hello Jerry, remember last month when I paid back that loan, well now I need you to do a favor for me.
Homer
