The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Quotes
Give her the check! (the crowd laughs) Oh, I was serious.
Homer
Homer: I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal.
Lisa: I don't think real checks have exclamation points.
Burns: Who is that bookworm, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir.
Burns: Simpson, eh? How very strange. His job description clearly specifies an illiterate!
Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh.
Homer
Steward: Yes, sir, can I get you something?
Homer: Playing cards, note pad, aspirin, sewing kit, pilot's wing pin, propeller-shaped swizzle stick, sleeping mask, and anything else I've got coming to me.
US Mint Tour Guide: Folks, we print more than 18 million bills a day. Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, we don't give out free samples.
Homer: Lousy cheap country.
I'd like to give you a logging permit, I would. But this isn't like burying toxic waste - people are going to notice those trees are gone.
Congressman
Moe: Aw, isn't that nice. Now there is a politician who cares.
Barney: If I ever vote, it'll be for him!
"We the purple"? What the hell was that?
Losing Contestant's Father
Singer: The trading gap shuffle, we're in a heap of trouble, doing the trading gap shuffle!
Bart: He already sang this song!
Marge: No, that was about the budget gap. This is the trading gap.
Things change when you hit the big 1-O. Your legs start to go, candy doesn't taste as good anymore.
Bart
Bart: Milhouse can you keep a secret?
Milhouse: No.
Bart: Oh well who cares, Michael Jackson is coming to my house!!
