Matt: Car, I've literally never seen you puke before.
Caroline: That is because I'm polite, not pregnant.

Little tip from a professional. Next time you want to kill a bazillion year old psycho, don't choose a sword from the junior's section.

Damon [to Enzo]

Bonnie: Do you wanna talk about i--
Alaric: Nope.
Bonnie: Okay. Didn't think so.

Valerie: It’s just us. Beau couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye.
Damon: I’m sure he just couldn’t find the right words to say.

Stefan: How many times do you get a second chance to deliver your mother’s eulogy?
Damon: Good point, brother. How’s this? Lily, you were a terrible mother when you were alive and you were a terrible mother when you were dead. [to Stefan] You’re right. That does feel good.

Bonnie: 'Hey, Stefan! Did I mention Bonnie saw me mix a blood bag with a jar of mayonnaise at 2 o’clock in the morning?'
Caroline: Okay, one, that was marshmallow fluff. And two, I’m feeding for three now, so I get cravings.

Bonnie: I don’t need people to tell me I’m pretty.
Nora: Nobody needs it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not nice to hear.

Hi, mom. I just realized that this is going to be my first Christmas without you. That sucks. I still got you something, two somethings, actually. I will spare you the details of how because honestly I’m sick of talking about it. But it’s happening. I’m pregnant. I used to picture us having this conversation. It looked different. Obviously. I was a human carrying my own children and you…were alive. I know they’re not mine, but they’re still my responsibility, you know, and I want to…I have to do this right. And I have no idea what I’m doing and all I want to do is just sit on our kitchen counter while you burn our dinner and ask you a million questions. God, I miss you.

Caroline

Mom, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Give me a chance to make it right. Give me a chance to let you love me. Okay?

Damon

This isn’t about what you do in her name, Damon. It’s about what you do in her absence.

Stefan

Well, it’s not like I was expecting a parade, but where’s my parade?

Damon

Damon: You telling me my brother is still stuck in here and you brought me out first?
Bonnie: That didn’t sound like even a glimmer of a thank you…

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Damon

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.