Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: This rat has quit the race.
Charlie: Good for you.
Alan: This hamster is off the treadmill.
Charlie: Glad to hear it.
Alan: This squirrel is satisfied with the nuts he has.
Charlie: No comment.

I love sleeping so much sometimes I even dream about it.

Jake

A lot of great discoveries were accidents, like Thomas Edison and the telephone.

Jake
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