Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon Network
Venture-brothers-poster

Good night, you princes of Venture. You kings of sleepover

Dr. Orpheus

Dr. Orpheus: Punkin', get me my cloak!
Triana: Why don't you wear the...
Dr. Orpheus: Oh fine. Get me my blue windbreaker!

Dr. Orpheus: What is...?
Brock: It's Doc's deformed twin brother - he absorbed in the womb but he's come back for revenge, but now they've made up, so...
Dr. Orpheus: 'kay...

You boys don't want to end up in here. This place is full of animals... no, Hank, I don't mean King Gorilla. In a place like this, you'd be eaten alive... no, I'm not talking about Mecha-Mouth

Monarch

Hank: Maternity. You weren't kidding, Deano. Pop really is having a baby!
Dean: I think I need a cigarette

ER Doctor: The tumor was benign. It's just that... well. [clears throat] We cannot find it.
Dr. Venture: What do you mean you "can't find it?"
ER Doctor: Well we took it out and, I don't know. When I finished sewing you up I turned around and it was... just gone.
Dr. Venture: Gone. Well. I want a second opinion. Oh wait, I'm a doctor! I can give myself one! You suck, and I'm leaving

Hank: I'm outta here! I'm not gonna play second... banana-fiddle to some stupid old baby.
Dean: Well not me! I'm staying right here. I'll be sleeping in a room right next to Triana. And then she'll hear like, thunder or something, and, and she'll run into my room all scared and stuff, and I'll be like, 'hush my darling, it's just ionized air molecules expanding'. And she'll be like, 'oh, hold me', and I'll like...
Hank: Dude! If we stay here that means we'll be Dr. Orpheus' kids. And that means Triana will be your sister. And that means you two will have extra-retard babies.
Dean: Huh. I never thought of that. [he stands up] Alright, I'm with you!

Dr. Orpheus: Pumpkin, you're up early, and you've changed out of your jam-jams into...the clothes you wore last night. How frugal of you. Did you just get home?
Triana: Kim was totally plastered, and then we were like...
Dr. Orpheus: Sweetie, let me love you - don't make this hard for us

Jonas Venture, Jr.: Hello, Rusty.
Fetus Rusty: Daddy? What are you doing in mommy's womb?
Jonas Venture, Jr.: I came to tell you son...(spooky voice)...there is another Venture.
Fetus Rusty: Why're you talking like Yoda?
Jonas Venture, Jr.: This is your dream, Rusty - you tell me

Dr. Orpheus: Now we have the Venture twins staying with us, and they're not in the den. I sense something is amiss. Is there, something else you forgot to tell daddy?
Triana: They ran away.
[Dr. Orpheus gasps]
Triana: They said they were going to the city to become famous lion tamers

Dr. Venture: You jury-rigged my body, that's why I have all these blackouts. I thought it was the pills.
Jonas: Your body's a mess! It's become absolutely uninhabitable.
Dr. Venture: Yeah, well I don't remember asking you to live in me! Wait a minute. You're why I've been having all these fucked up dreams. You're probably why I lost my hair too, aren't you! You stole my hair!

You're probably wondering why you're here. You're here because you done fucked up too many times! You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup. And if you keep up like you've been doing, this is where you're headed

The Monarch
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 167 in total

Venture Brothers Season 1 Quotes

Prostitute: Whew, that was some workout, big man.. but I guess you're gonna have to go look for those boys now, huh?
Brock: They'll turn up. Besides, I still got $300 left.
Prostitute: Oooh, three bills can buy you an awful lot of things..
Brock: I know. I'm gonna want change

They seem to have already discovered the fleshy jig of the mommy and daddy dance

The Monarch
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