Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Wilfred

Ryan: What's the one thing Jenna hates about Drew?
Wilfred: Vaginal tearing from his huge cock?

Chemistry, baking and ping pong... how were you not blow jobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?

I've seen more aggressive ball playing in an airport men's room.

Ryan: I feel bad.
Wilfred: That's just your conscience being a total gaylord.

I'll kill you! This fly's been acting like a total dick all morning.

Ryan, remember when I told you a few weeks ago that you are a total pussy? Well I just wanted to apologize for not emphasizing that enough.

Here comes the part where he carries her into the house like a Viking on a rape quest. He's gonna wreck that, mate.

Not like I was gonna buy her. Last time I had Indian, it gave me the shits for a week.

Ryan: I thought it would make me sound Effete.
Wilfred: So does saying the word "effete."

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