Wilfred

Wilfred Quotes (Page 5)

Season 2 Episode 4: "Guilt"

Ryan: I'm the worst brother ever.
Wilfred: Worst brother ever? Did you ever convince the other siblings in your litter to eat your own sister because she was born with no eyes? Cause I did that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Jesus. This baby's gonna be God Damn adorable.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wilfred: Do I have a spare d**kfor? What's a d**k for?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: You're at war with babies? Over what?
Wilfred: Why do any great civilizations go to war? To see who's cutest.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wilfred: There's a war out there, Ryan, a war between dogs and babies...and you brought it to our door step.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Beans got a pair a month ago, and he's been snout deep in puss ever since.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Say what you want about Beans, but boy knows how to do it up right! There might even be a sprinkler.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 3: "Dignity"

Wilfred: You're doing a s**t job at that s**t job.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Did you see that?!?! Slow Piscopo stole my bit right out from under me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wilfred: Excuse me, do I come into your place of business and interrupt you when you're working?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wilfred: Are you kidding me? Lassie was doing sad, droopy dog eyes back in 1955. That s**t is hack.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Those idiots wouldn't know adorable if it cornered them in a holding cell and raped them with a plunger handle. That reminds me; Bear could you pick up a plunger before our next date night?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jeremy: Tomorrow. Possible?
Wilfred: You, not being a d**k. Possible?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jeremy: If those clowns come up with a cure for lung cancer it is going to be a sad, sad day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: I'm an office dog. It's my duty to entertain and amuse, and if I can't do it they'll bring in some foosball table who can!
 • Rating: Unrated

Amanda: I only huff the good stuff. I'm kind of keyboard cleaner snob.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stacy: Jeremy, I have the state highway commissioner on line one.
Jeremy: Well I've got a belly rub on line two!
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: Is anyone else concerned that there's a stale half-eaten Wheat Thin under this desk?
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: So you're just going to leave me in that thing? Like some guy caged up like some animal?
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilfred: One man's trash is another man's feng shui. That's why I left that pool of yellow water by the southeast door.
 • Rating: Unrated

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