It just keeps eating at you and eating at you and then when you don't find a guy, you just get more miserable and more depressed.

I couldn't even tell you how I felt in that jail cell. It was like a f*%king phenomenon ... I'm not a phenomenon. I'm a train wreck.

Snooki: This is the things I think I'm addicted to: Bronzer, boys and alcohol. I'm f*%ked up.

I don't want to drink anymore, but I feel like if I was sober, I'd be bored.

Every time I get really excited, like if we go to a club, I have to poop my pants. If we go to a party, I have to poop my pants, if I go on a date, like this, with a hot guy, I have to poop my pants.

Any Pinot's okay. Pregnant people do it.

It's kinda like a disease to Snook-for-Love. It's worse than a staph infection.

I'm a f**king good person!

Snooki: Where's the beach?
Onlooker: It's right there. Where else would it be?

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