Piper's best friend has a baby the same time someone in Piper's cell block gives birth.
There is a flu outbreak in the prison.
Piper makes masks out of sanitary napkins. She gives one to Claudette.
Healy tells Piper Larry wrote an article about her in the NY Times. When she asks to read it, he tosses it in the trash and dumps his coffee on it.
Pornstache tells Red one of her girls was in withdrawal and she realizes he's been giving her junk.
In a flashback, Red remembers telling the mob to start selling drugs to schoolchildren.
Larry buys out the Times at his local newsstand.
Piper calls Larry and asks him to read her the article. The title is "One Sentence Two Prisoners."
Whoever guesses closest to the birth time of Maria's birth time wins a Twix.
Maria can't go to the doctor until her labor pains are one minute apart.
Piper and Nicky are sent to fix a broken dryer, and when Red sends for Nicky, Alex and Piper are left alone. They get closer as Alex wants to help. When Pennsatucky comes in trying to cause trouble, she won't allow it.
Red wants Nicky to send Tricia down the river. She does what she's told.
Alex climbs into the dryer, loses her glasses and Pennsatucky locks Alex in the dryer.
Caputo asks Pornstache why Tricia didn't go cold turkey when she arrived ten months earlier. He then asks if mustaches have become for gay men.
Luschek finds Piper smashing and screaming at the dryer and Alex inside.
Pornstache makes Morello drive off campus to try to get information from her about Red.
The relationship between Nicky and Red continues to deteriorate and Pornstache looks like he wants to use it to his advantage.
Piper is sad that she wasn't there for Larry's story party, the birth of Polly's baby and that she couldn't get the dryer open.
Maria returns from the hospital without a baby.
Pornstache goes to Nicky to ask about Red's business. She tells him. Neptunes Produce.
Taystee is getting out of prison.
Piper goes to talk to Alex because she's really angry about what Larry wrote. She's not the person he wrote about, but she doesn't know how to make him understand it was her life, not some romp.
Aleida brings Daya a bucket to puke in, but tells her she'll feel better in nine months.
Oooh. Maria might be in labor. Could you Google symptoms? They're taking bets. If I guess closest to the birth time I could win a Twix.Piper
Claudette: I look Michael Jackson.
Piper: No, I think you've got the wrong skintone. I look like Michael Jackson.
- Permalink: No, I think you've got the wrong skintone. I look like Michael Jackson.