I Think You Offended Don
Two and a Half Men Season 6 Episode 13 (01/19/09)
The episode opens with Alan making a calendar trying to figure out if the five-month pregnant Judith is pregnant with his daughter from their fling during her fight with Herb. Alan, who always wanted a daughter, becomes convinced the baby is his and heads over to Judith's to pick up Jake. While there, he can't help but ask Judith about the "elephant in the room," but she quickly denies that they even had sex.
Alan then spends the rest of the episode trying to convince Herb on how to raise his new daughter and even tries to wedge himself in as the babysitter. Judith eventually throws him out after he tells some bizarre story on why Herb shouldn't let his mother-in-law babysit. Alan then has a nightmare that 15 years later his daughter looks like Jake in a wig. Woof.
Charlie, meanwhile, comes home drunk from losing his car and a lot of money in Texas Hold Em. Charlie spends the epiosde trying to figure out what's wrong with Jake, who he's convinced is angry his mom is having a second kid. Charlie eventually figures out it's girl problems and that Jake is nervous to go to a party where a girl wants to hook up with him. He's nervous because it's his first time and Charlie offers to have pizza nad watch a movie with him and skip the party and he quickly agrees.