Family Guy Season Three Quotes

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From the two part season three premiere of Family Guy where Brian ran away to Hollywood to the banned episoded, "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," the third season had some great episodes.

Now you can catch up with all of your favorite season three quotes in the largest collection assembled on the web.  Here's just some of our favorite Family Guy quotes from this epic season:

Lois: Excuse me, we were about to use that.
Lady: You snooze, you lose, lady.
Lois: You have 2 choices. Either my baby swings from this jungle gym, or you do.
Stewie: Woohoo, Lois! Someone's wearing their ovaries on the outside | permalink
Quagmire: Hey baby, how about showing me your Lower East Side?
Transvestite: Sure.
Quagmire: Whoa, transvestite! Wait a moment, pre-op or post-op?
Transvestite: Pre-op.
Quagmire: Whoa, transvestite! Back off! | permalink
Lois: What's going on down here?
Stewie: Uhh... we're playing House.
Lois: That boy's all tied up.
Stewie: Roman Polanski's House | permalink
Neil: Here's your coffee Mr Tucker.
Tom Tucker: What the hell is in this!
Neil: Sweet N' Low. That's for trying to steal my woman!
Tom Tucker: Go back and bring it to me with urine in it like I asked | permalink
Auctioneer: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty bucks!
Auctioneer: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioneer: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks! | permalink
Peter: Well, we promised Lois we'd use our powers responsibly, but I suppose doing the exact opposite couldn't hurt | permalink
Peter: Hey, is the Count a Vampire?
Brian: What's that?
Peter: Well he's got these big fangs. Have they ever shown him doin' somebody in and then feedin' on em?
Brian: You're, you're asking me if they've ever done a Seseme Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance
Peter: Yeah
Brian: No, they've never done that | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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Family Guy Quotes

Aunt Margarite [on her video will]: Lois, you were always my favorite niece; I just knew you would find a wonderful man who would make all your dreams come true. But I was wrong.
Peter: And now you're dead. Score one for Peter

But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.

Quagmire