Can we all just slow clap it out for Tatiana Maslany, please?
Tonight, Orphan Black Season 3 Episode 1 gave us Tatiana playing Sarah playing Rachel in the same room as Tatiana playing Allison playing Sarah. Wow.
Orphan Black premiered strong once again, with just the right amount of follow through on the Project Castor bomb they dropped in last year's finale.
These super scary male clones are still shrouded in mystery – we don't even know their names yet – but we do finally know what they want: Duncan's research.
Thankfully, Cosima was smart enough to keep Duncan's secret key hidden, even from her sisters.
I've learned from Dyad that secrets are power.Cosima
Of all the twists and turns of the night, Sarah's mission to save Dyad had to be the biggest. For two years now, Dyad has been the big bad, but Sarah's determination to save Helena builds even the most surprising of bridges. I wouldn't call it a team up just yet, but at least they're not outright enemies anymore.
Now that Delphine appears to be running things, maybe the institute will turn over a new leaf? Or maybe Delphine will become just as warped as everyone else in that place. She's already starting to show signs of insanity, unless torture was always her thing?
It was definitely our new character, Ferdinand's, thing, and his BDSM fetish nearly got him strangled to death. That was 50 Shades of scary, Sarah. But when push comes to shove, Sarah has always protected her sisters, and Ferdinand was planning to wipe them out. Who can really blame her?
Just when you think it couldn't get more twisted, we've got another new Leda clone, Crystal. It's not clear yet whether this was a throwaway character, or if Crystal will be brought into the big picture, but it's always nice to meet a new face. Kind of...
The best scene of the night absolutely had to be the game of musical clones going on inside of Dyad.
Sarah posing as Rachel, interrogating Allison posing as Sarah. Stop me if your head is spinning. Allison showed just the right amount of nervous energy we've come to expect from our most neurotic clone, while still pulling off a convincing cockney accent. For her part, Sarah nailed her Rachel impression, despite Felix's misgivings.
Sarah: You don't think I can do this? (gets into character) Rachel Duncan. Uber bitch.
Felix: That was terrible.
My only complaint for this amazing opener is that Marion was nowhere to be found.
Remember Marion? The friendly Topside lady, who had a Castor clone in her basement? Well, she was nowhere to be found in this season opener, besides a snarky mention from Felix that she'd fled off to Europe. I'm hopeful we'll see more of her later in the season, especially now that her basement is empty.
That's right, folks, the naked pull-ups Castor clone got busted out of his prison by the criminally insane Castor clone. On a totally unrelated note, we're going to need names for these guys soon...
Last but not least, Helena's fate seems grim, trapped in a box inside of a box inside of a box.
No matter how bizarre and sometimes indecipherable Helena's story is, you just have to love the weird way her brain operates. Talking scorpions and baby shower hallucinations are on and the same inside her head. And now that Castor has her, we can only hope that they don't drive her even more insane than she already is.
What did you think of the season premiere? Sound off in comments below!
Don't forget to watch Orphan Black online and check out that clone club mashup scene!