I AM AUBREY ALEXIS!!
It was pretty evident Edward LL Moore wasn't going to be able to keep his identity a secret on Younger Season 3 Episode 7. Whether he's just too used to the limelight or he just so darn proud of himself at writing the sexcapade on everyone's fingertips, he was an explosion waiting to happen.
When you add up all the sexual innuendos, Rhada's continual annoyance at Liza, the world's excitement at Aubrey Alexis, Josh's worry over Liza's inexperience and Kelsey's new man...well, you have yourself one spectacular episode of Younger.
But really, is there ever an episode that dips far below that kind rave? Not really.
The two things that are surprising me the most about Younger Season 3 are how easy it's become to imagine Liza and Josh not being together and how little I worry about her secret coming out.
To discuss the latter first, it probably means it's going to come out in the most unexpected moment possible to one person and leave others unaffected instead of an all out barrage of information to everyone.
As for Josh and Liza, he seems to be questioning so many things about the two of them together, that I'm expecting him to let her go.
First he was ruminating on the possibilities of children and what it might mean to spend a life with someone who has already had hers, and now he's wondering about Liza's inexperience with other men.
Wait. You only slept with three dudes. That's what you're saying, right? Like three, one less than four. That's the three you're talkin' about here?Josh
Is he looking for reasons for things to fall apart? I'm not sure what's happening, but while I believe he loves her, it seems he's beginning to realize what that age gap means for the rest of his life from both of their perspectives and that it doesn't add up to forever.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Lena Dunham were put through the ringer during this episode.
Charles: Gwyneth had a *what*?
Redmond: A vagina steaming incident.
Charles: No, I *heard* it, I just wish I could *unhear* it.
It was pretty amusing the gang was looking for someone to read on Moore's behalf and it wound up being Liza. It's too bad Josh couldn't have been there for that. He thinks she's a dainty little flower most of the time, and she had to stand up there and read that god awful prose.
Liza: I lay on the bed quivering, my hands quivering over my panties. I could feel my woman pulse throbbing through the lace, and as I slid my fingers inside towards the place no man could ever fully penetrate, I felt my flower fully begin to blossom...
Liza/Moore: ...to release, to burst open, to explode.
Moore: I am Aubrey Alexis! I am Aubrey Alexis! YES! I AM AUBREY ALEXIS!
Kelsey: I am Aubrey Alexis!
Charles: I am Aubrey Alexis!
Diana: I am Aubrey Alexis!
Crowd: I AM AUBREY ALEXIS!!!
It was kind of surprising that after everything, Josh decided to give Liza a free pass. That's ballsy and confident, and proves he has very little of what Rhada has...incredible intuition.
As annoying as I find Rhada, she's right on the money when it comes to Liza and Charles. She's fighting a game she can't win, because Liza and Charles don't even know what they're playing. They don't have the rules, they don't understand the opposing teams.
It would be a nightmare to be an intuitive man in Liza's life that isn't Charles or a woman in Charles' life at this particular moment in time. And now she has that free pass we saw very pointedly going into her back pocket. But I don't think Charles will ever be relegated to a one night stand.
If he's number five, it will be the last number Liza has in her life, but if the free pass is number four and she goes back to Josh, she'll have a number five.
Kelsey's story was adorable. She scored a date with the cute Calvin from the New Yorker. Of course, from the previews, he appears to be questionable, but I hope he's not. Kelsey already left her bad pancake on that crappy island she hates. Then again, maybe she's this guy's bad pancake. Karma?
That would be terrible, but when you treat people terribly like sex on a tram and a wave goodbye, you might find out that's what others think of you, too.
Or in the case of Maggie, you could be too amazing.
I don't fly in a lesbian flock. I'm more of a lone owl.Maggie
She did all that planning and research about what would make her the best Kosher Jewish girlfriend (or orthydyke) and she was so good at it she became overwhelmed.
If I had been in Maggie's place, I would have been fine when everyone started asking me to attend their functions and warmly welcoming me, but busting open the bathroom door was really more than expected from women she had just met earlier that evening.
How drunk were they that they were already peeing in a crowd. Just a few days ago, other women didn't want her tattoo water in their pool. How does all that work, anyway? Honestly, I'm wondering.
Be back here again next time when we'll be talking about Liza getting into an accident and the men in her life fighting over her. Hmmm. She looks fine as she's signing the divorce papers. Remember, you can watch Younger online if you need to catch up.
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.