The Conners Season 2 Episode 14 Review: Bad Dads and Grads

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The last three installments of The Conners were exceptional.

From the hysterical football theme to the so-honest-it-was-funny live episode about politics to Ben and Darlene's discussion about starting a family that almost ended them as a couple, this show has frequently made me think, feel, and laugh out loud.

I suppose that's what made The Conners Season 2 Episode 14 so disappointing. 

Paying For College - The Conners

There wasn't much to laugh about and even the touchy-feely moments didn't quite hit the mark I've come to expect.

Take Jackie and the offer of a thrupple.

Jackie does need to put herself out there. She deserves to have a social life, even a love life. 

But a relationship with another married couple? I know this was supposed to be humorous, but all it managed to do was make me cringe. 

They’ve been married 30 years. They’re regular one person at a time people.


Unfortunately, Jackie didn't get that one right. I wish she had.

Clark Gregg and Jennifer Grey - The Conners Season 2 Episode 14

I get it. Jackie is lonely. Most of her life is wrapped up in her late-sister's family and making The Lunch Box a success. 

She even lives with her elderly mother and Beverly could drive anyone to do desperate things. 

But Jackie could meet someone at work now that she interacts with the public. The Lunch Box could open new avenues for Jackie that have nothing to do with Roseanne's family. 

I want to see Jackie fumbling through a real romance, not this destined-for-destruction debacle that's working too hard to find something to chuckle about. 

And it's a shame because I like Clark Gregg and Jennifer Grey, I only wish they had a better storyline. The minimum we deserved was to actually see this threesome performing Love Shack on karaoke night.

At least that could have made grin.  

Dressed Up - The Conners Season 2 Episode 14

Even the other two plots didn't quite make the cut this week.

Darlene: Ben and I are thinking about having a baby. How do you feel about that?
Harris: You’re old and it’s embarrassing but I don’t care. I don’t have to live here anymore.
Darlene: Let’s always talk just like this.

Harris could have cared less about her mom and Ben having a baby, which made sense. She's out of the house, working and paying her own way. Yes, the baby will be her brother or sister but she won't grow up with it. 

Ben and Darlene's baby will be similar to Beverly Rose, some cute kid she'll come to visit or be asked to babysit from time to time. 

It was Marc that was rocked by the news. 

Convincing Mark - The Conners Season 2 Episode 14

The assumption was that Mark would worry that he'd play second fiddle to any new child. Or possibly that the baby having Ben, the hottest guy Darlene's ever dated, as its father would eclipse any child of David's. 

But we should have realized that Mark is far more reflective than that.

He was worried about his mother surviving a pregnancy as he researched the risks of getting pregnant in your 40s. 

I'd say he thought more about this than his mother, but that's selling Darlene short. She was smart enough to go down to Planned Parenthood and get an exam which told her she needed to take better care of herself if she wanted to have a healthy child. 

As much as I appreciated the turn Mark's issues took, it didn't quite clear the bar of being truly heartfelt or comical and left me disappointed. 

Dan's New Family  - The Conners Season 2 Episode 14

Elsewhere, Dan was blindsided once again by the unfairness of his father's parenting, or lack thereof. 

Once again, we found out a little more about Dan. He had wanted to go to college, but his father crushed those dreams but making it clear that Dan wasn't good enough so he wouldn't pay for it. 

So instead of designing cars, Dan Conner ended up installing dry-wall while his kid brother got a college degree on their father's dime. 

Dan had every reason to be furious but their father's actions weren't Ed Jr.'s fault even if he consistently got the best of the old man while Dan had to deal with the worst.  

Becky: The only way to let it all go is to get some kind of closure with your Dad.
Dan: Yeah, man, it’d be so much easier if he were still alive. I could sit down with him, hear his side of it and punch him right in the face.

So Dan had to find a way to punch Ed Senior figuratively if he couldn't do it literally. 

Dan Looks Happy - The Conners Season 2 Episode 13

He found the tools he needed not with therapy but with illegal fireworks. 

I got something called a Patriots candle. It’s basically just a stick of dynamite.


Ed Senior apparently loved his youngest son, but Dan would never hurt Ed Jr., so instead, he took his rage on the next best thing -- Ed Senior's beloved car.

As Dan said, he needed to get closure with his father and his father absolutely loved that old car. 

My complaint wasn't with Dan's methods but that we never got to see that car explode onscreen because that could have been fun. 

Will Ed Jr. stick around for a while? I hope so. Louise leaving Lanford left a hole for Dan and, although it's certainly not the same, reconnecting with his younger brother is keeping Dan from being lonely. 

Of course, they just need to keep Harris away from her cute new uncle.

Darlene: No, Harris, we’ve talked about this. You cannot date your uncle.
Harris: I’m so sick of this family and all its crazy rules.

New Hair and Makeup - The Conners Season 2 Episode 14

Was I the only one that thought Jackie's new threesome was a lame subplot and that she deserves better? 

Should Ben and Darlene be talking about the possibility of getting married before they decide to start a family?

And shouldn't Harris be aware that she has absolutely no medical insurance, which leads me back to my weekly question. Where the hell is David and why isn't he the least bit interested in his kids' lives?

Check back in for my review of The Conners Season 2 Episode 13 where I hope we get back to the side-splitting hilarity and cutting edge social commentary that we've come to know and love. 

And whether you agree with my assessment or want to argue why I'm wrong, hit that Big, Blue, SHOW COMMENTS button down below and let me have it. 

Becky's All Smiles - The Conners Season 2 Episode 14

Until next time, you can watch The Conners online here at TV Fanatic. 

Bad Dads and Grads Review

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C. Orlando is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow her on Twitter.

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The Conners Season 2 Episode 14 Quotes

Darlene: No, Harris, we’ve talked about this. You cannot date your uncle.
Harris: I’m so sick of this family and all its crazy rules.

You look great. Just be calm and be yourself. If you have to choose one, then be calm.