Attention, Salem residents: move into one-story homes.
While in real life, everyone is still dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic to one degree or another, there's a different sort of epidemic in Salem: people falling down the stairs after a heated argument.
In the past two years, there have been three such accidents, one of them fatal. And on Days of Our Lives during the week of 4-26-21, Gwen became the latest woman to suffer such a tragedy.
I'm not fully convinced this one was an accident.
While both Haley and Julie suffered falls after losing their footing at the top of the stairs, Gwen's occurred after Abigail followed her halfway down the stairs, grabbed her by the wrist, and then let go.
Abigail looked shocked, so I guess we're supposed to think this was unintentional. But really, what did she think was going to happen?
And it wasn't like Gwen was struggling and lost her balance, either. It happened solely because of Abigail's actions.
This came after an entire episode's worth of Abigail throwing tantrums because Jack is willing to take in pregnant Gwen rather than let her leave town, never to be heard from again.
Abigail insisted that Gwen threatened to leave town as part of a diabolical plot to trick Jack into asking her to move in with him so that... she could annoy Abigail by living in her father's home.
The one good thing about this severely overused plot is that it, hopefully, will put a stop to Abigail's constant self-centered rants.
However, Gwen was right about one thing back when she wanted to destroy Abigail's life: Abby is the "golden child" that Salem treats as if she can do no wrong.
So even if Abigail is arrested for this stair-throwing incident, most likely, she'll be given a slap on the wrist, and everyone from the judge to the prosecutor will be sympathetic.
Ugh, where's Trask when you need her?
The other problem with this story is, of course, how utterly predictable it is.
Back in 2012, Nicole tragically lost her baby at 37 weeks of pregnancy, then fell down the stairs after a fight with Jennifer... and accused Jen of killing her baby.
Now Gwen is undoubtedly going to do the same thing with Jennifer's daughter.
The difference being, of course, that Nicole was a more sympathetic villain than Gwen can ever dream of being, and I don't recall Jennifer being completely unhinged at the time.
(Jan Spears also took a tumble down the stairs once and hid the resultant miscarriage to hold onto Shawn, and Kristen once faked a continued pregnancy after a miscarriage, but the Nicole storyline is literally the same as what it appears is going to happen with Gwen/Abby.)
Gwen's lie is undoubtedly designed to make viewers feel sympathy for Abby again.
But that's incredibly manipulative on the writers' part, especially since Gwen tried SEVERAL times to tell Abby she had miscarried, was headed downstairs to tell Chad the sad truth, and only fell because Abby grabbed her.
Sorry, DAYS writers, but I feel little sympathy for Abigail and her inability to see any possibility that the world doesn't revolve around her.
Though if she IS accused of deliberately throwing Gwen down the stairs, maybe she'll finally understand why Gwen insists that Laura's death was an accident and stop insisting that it wasn't.
Snyder: I'm sorry, Ms. Reischek. But there's no heartbeat.
Gwen: How can this be? I just found out yesterday that I was pregnant. What did I do wrong?
Snyder: You just found out yesterday? Did you have periods?
Gwen: Yes, but they were irregular, so... anyway, I didn't know I was pregnant and I didn't see a doctor or take vitamins but...
Snyder: It is not your fault. Miscarriages can happen for all sorts of reasons and sometimes come out of the blue. Sometimes things are not meant to be.
Gwen: Thanks a lot! You're telling me my baby never had a chance!
The miscarriage scene could have been emotional... if it had been handled differently.
I agree with Gwen that it's ridiculous that she found out she was pregnant one day, then randomly miscarried the next. Sure, that can happen, and if Days of Our Lives was going for a story about a chemical pregnancy, that might have made sense.
But as it was, it seemed like the timing was awfully convenient.
Gwen went through a roller coaster of emotions surrounding discovering she was pregnant, deciding to keep the baby, and learning THE NEXT DAY that it had died.
Viewers weren't given a second to breathe, and it was obvious from this superspeed pregnancy and miscarriage story that the baby's existence was merely a plot point to escalate tension between Abigail and Gwen.
If I were her, I would have gotten a second opinion before concluding the baby was really dead, too. After all, Snyder is the same doctor who believed Jan was in a coma while she was across town killing Charlie.
And what does a neurological specialist know about pregnancy issues?
I was thrilled when Snyder came on board because there was actually a specialist in the hospital instead of Kayla being at the top of EVERY field of medicine, but that went south fast!
The Snyder/Tripp story (if you can call it that) is another one that could be fascinating if the writers took more time with it and made an attempt to be semi-realistic.
I love the idea of Tripp having to deal with a boss who thinks he only got his position because of his stepmother and who makes his residency harder than it needs to be.
But Snyder is just not credible as a doctor, and on top of that, Tripp is not a resident. He's a first-year medical student, and first-years don't have internships, nor do they diagnose ear infections and discuss how long retrograde amnesia should last, especially not after one day of medical school!
Plus, where are the other residents and other patients? Snyder has way too much time on his hands if he's wandering the halls looking for reasons to complain about Tripp.
Allie: I don't know about Tripp. I mean, the way we met, and then everything that happened after...
Claire: I wish neither of us had ever seen Charlie's face, but he's gone. He can't hurt us anymore. So we need to shut the door on those memories.
Allie: Shutting the door is a lot different than opening it for someone new.
That said, the Tripp/Allie friendship building to something more is one of the best new relationship arcs Days of Our Lives has had in a while.
I knew from the second that Allie mistakenly accused Tripp of rape that eventually, they would end up together.
But so far, the beats are being done well, and Allie's trepidation about opening herself up to love again after her rape is realistic even though the way Days of Our Lives handled her assault left a LOT to be desired.
For so long, Ciara's been my whole life. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do without her. How am I supposed to fill those long days?Ben
Ben's attempt to deal with Ciara leaving, however, is not so great.
Throughout their relationship, Days of Our Lives has mistaken obsession for true love.
Ben and Ciara have had no lives outside of one another, can't stand to be apart for more than a minute, and are constantly fighting some bad guy who kidnaps one of them to either get revenge or end the relationship permanently.
And Ben's desire to force Ciara to stay in Salem was not the first abusive thing he's done since she returned, minus her memories of their relationship.
At least Claire talked Ben out of kidnapping her! If only he realizes that a relationship based on friendship is superior to the clingy mess that passes for his relationship with Ciara, we'd be good.
Meanwhile, Ciara and Theo rushed off-screen while elsewhere, the silliest storyline in the world was taking place.
Not only am I tired of all of these doppelganger stories, but also irritated that people in Salem have worse memories than Ciara and don't even realize that someone could be fake.
Jake should have known right away that this woman was not Kate. He ran his hands through her hair without realizing it was a wig and had a bizarre conversation with her in which he had to remind her that she was jealous of him and Gabi before she used it as an excuse to break up with him!
Roman also should have known since he knows Kate better than anyone, and Kristen didn't even realize that Kate and Roman had more than one child together!
Not to mention we JUST went through this with Sarah, complete with people who are supposed to care about her gloating that Xander couldn't find her instead of worrying about her.
And is anyone ever going to find out where the real Kate and Sarah are? Or is Kristen going to kidnap all of Salem and put them on an island before this is over?
Marlena: Belle, Sami doesn't hate you.
Belle: Oh yeah, she's such a loving and devoted sister that she sold me on the black market.
Meanwhile, Belle unsurprisingly went for complaining about Sami selling her on the black market when she was an infant to justify her ridiculous insistence that Sami framed her for Charlie's murder.
Belle sounded almost as unhinged as Abby when she insisted that Sami faked being on the plane at the time of Charlie's death.
Not to mention the fact that Allison Sweeney is a few inches taller than Martha Madison and is more broad-shouldered, so there was no way in hell that Belle's coat would ever have fit on Sami!
That said, Sami needs to be as strong with Kristen as she was with Belle. There is NO reason for her to be kowtowing to Kristen's ridiculous demands, and she and Lucas need to both grow a pair, kick Kristen to the curb, and undo this awful fake brain tumor story.
I'm also not sure which is sillier: Jan sneaking out of the hospital to kill Charlie without her doctors being aware she was no longer in a coma or Belle getting arrested based on a coat button in the apartment where four other suspects also confronted Charlie.
In real life, there is no way a judge would have granted a search warrant based on Jan's statement, either.
Trask herself admitted that Jan has a history of terrorizing Belle to steal Shawn for herself and play fast-and-loose with the truth. Plus, Marlena and John's session was confidential, and therapy records cannot be admitted in court without a prior court order demanding they be unsealed.
Also, and I know this has been a long-standing policy on Days of Our Lives and will NEVER be addressed, but... District Attorneys are not police officers, nor are they the head of the police department.
Trask was acting like she was the top cop in the department! She has zero power to remove a detective from the case. She CAN go to a judge to get an arrest warrant if she wants someone arrested (and has enough evidence to back it up), but she can't just demand an arrest and get it.
And if Rafe is the commissioner, he makes all hiring and personnel decisions, not her. He should be answering the only one is the mayor, and Abe was not involved in this story.
Speaking of Rafe, I like this Ava/Rafe/Nicole triangle more than I thought I would.
Rafe and Nicole are my dream pair, and I hope they're endgame. Nicole deserves better than to be left in limbo because Eric is on a mission in Africa.
Ava was right that Eric seems to have forgotten his marriage. I hope that she and Nicole can remain friends despite their mutual interest in Rafe, which would be a pleasant difference from how these love triangles usually go.
Your turn, Days of Our Lives fanatics!
What do you think of Gwen and Abigail's latest fight, the resolution of the murder mystery, or anything else that happened on Days of Our Lives during the week of 3-26-21?
Hit the big, blue SHOW COMMENTS button and share your thoughts.
Eager for more Days of Our Lives chat? Be sure to check back on Sunday for our latest Days of Our Lives Round Table discussion.
Days of Our Lives airs on NBC on weekday afternoons. Check your local listings for airtimes.