Walden: So how old is this guy..?
Alan: Let me put it this way, he was one of the original investors in Apple, the fruit.

Berta: Ha Zippy, like it wasn't easy before.
Alan: I would not expect you to understand European chic.
Berta: Seems like European on a power line.

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: Can I go back to mom's tomorrow?
Alan: Why?
Jake: I want to hang out with my friends.
Alan: What, all of a sudden your father's not good enough for you?
Jake: It's not "all of a sudden."

Alan: Since when do you have a wet suit?
Charlie: Since I moved to the beach and noticed it was full of hot surfer chicks. If I lived next to Jellystone Park I'd have a bear suit and a picnic basket