Favorite April Ludgate Quotes
She's the cold distant mother I never had. I love her.
Ben: You always separate your lights from your darks.
April: That's racist.
Ann: Here are the keys. And remember...
April: I know. Don't let Tom make a copy.
Leslie: It's not cool. It's trespassing, and that is breaking the rules. Cool people make the rules. They don't break the rules. And if those kids want you to break the rules then they're not really your friends.
April: Whoa, who are you even talking about?
Ann: I thought you might like a fresh set of pillows.
April: Are you trying to smother me? Help! The slutty nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow!
Ann: OK, nevermind.
April: Stay back, slut.
Leslie: Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs.
April: Ann's blows.
Ann: Wow, don't hold back.
April: No offense but it's a giant picture of a park. That's not art.
Ann: Well, at least it's not a fat human hamster eating meat.
April: You don't even work here.
Leslie: OK, guys you both have a point. Ann, yours was a little trite. And April, yours was hellish, and might make someone vomit.
April: Thank you.
Ron: Who the hell is 'Fwarp'?
April: I don't know. I couldn't really hear him. It sounded like his name was Fwarp.
Ron: Get his number?
April: No.
Ron: Good girl.
April: You're, um, Pawnee's Woman of the Year it looks like.
Ron: Oh, it's about time.
April: I'm sorry, I was in Venezuela.
Andy: Oh, really? Wow. Across the pond.
Leslie: April, stop that. Who are you texting?
April: You.
Leslie: Aww, she's texting me... I'm sorry you're bored.
I tried to Photoshop it to make it look like they were happy. It was really hard. Their mouths are so old.
April: Oh my god, they're amazing.
Jerry: They're more than amazing. They are terrific.
April: Terrific's not more than amazing, Jerry.
Jerry: No? Well, it's not less.
