Resident Alien
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on SyFyBen Hawthorne Quotes
Ben: Maybe it just knocked him out.
Mike: Knocked him outta his skin, maybe.
Mike: Taxpayers shouldn't have a say in how their taxes dollars are spent. That's called anarchy!
Ben: Well, some people call it democracy.
Ben: I asked to see you in my office.
Mike: No, you said you'd LIKE to see me in your office, and I don't blame you. Hell, I'm a statue of masculinity. If I was in your office, you'd probably walk in every morning and say, 'Damn, now that's what I want to be.'
Ben: If you were a statue in my office, I'd hang my jacket on you.
Mike: And I'd want you to 'cause I'd be made out of metal, and I'd be cold. See? Even as a statue, man, I still get what I want.
Kate: You, uh, feelin' a bit of a draft there?
Harry: Yes, yes. The cold air on my underparts keeps my scrotum taut.
Ben: OK, well, I don't really want to know what's going on with your scrotum. Would you mind closing your robe, please?
Kate: This is nice. It's very charming.
Ben: Yeah. Definitely more relaxing than the car ride with Harry reciting every single Law & Order episode from the break.
Nope! That door is the family door. I'll meet you at the normal person door. [pounding continues]
Mike: You gettin' a pool?
Ben: Uh, I don't know. Kate wants to sell the house. I thought maybe if I put in a pool, she'd want to stay.
Mike: Count me out. I don't swim in water somebody else is teabaggin'.
Ben: Uh, pretty sure we'd be wearin' bathing suits.
Mike: Shit. Water don't care! You wrap a teabag in a speedo and you put it in some water, you still gonna get a cup of tea that tastes like your nuts.
