The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Bernadette Quotes
Bernadette: Why are you being a baby?
Howard: I'm not a baby! I'm a grown man, and I made the bed. Now where's my star?
Amy: As a female scientist, I think what you do affects all of us.
Bernadette: And I think you don't like people expressing their sexuality because no one wants you to express yours.
Penny: That, believe it or not, is my prom dress.
Bernadette: Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere.
Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is "popular."
Penny: Prom is silly anyways.
Bernadette: Easy for you to say; you probably went with the captain of the football team.
Penny: No. I just made out with him a little while his date was puking.
Bernadette: Dan, you have a grandson. How old is he?
Dan: Seven.
Bernadette: I remember him from the picnic. He was the one crying like a wuss the whole time. I heard he was being picked on by a mean kid. Just builds character. Like my dad said, "Nobody likes a crybaby except their mommies and Democrats."
Dan: I need another drink.
Bernadette: What's his problem?
Penny: Oh. I don't know. Maybe he didn't like the fact that you called his grandson a wuss.
Bernadette: Well, I didn't think you were supposed to say "sissy" anymore.
Bernadette: I mean, maybe I come off a little strong, but that's only because my dad raised me to be tough and not to take
crap from anybody.
Penny: No. That's fine, but there's a difference between being tough and telling your friend her new pants look like a saggy diaper.
Bernadette: I did say that, didn't I?
Penny: Yeah, you did. I felt so self-conscious, I had to return them.
Bernadette: Where? To Babies R Us?
Bernadette: Why'd you turn it off?
Sheldon: Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to town, kissed Mommy and ran Grandma over with a reindeer. I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.
Bernadette: Maybe you'd like it more if you thought of Santa as a superhero and his power is bringing joy to children.
Sheldon: My uncle was accused of that, too. It turned out to be legal in Oklahoma.
Bernadette: So your evil plot here is to buy your girlfriend a present?
Sheldon: That's right.
Howard: Well, if you're so smart, you get the bird out.
Raj: No, you're the one who let him in.
Howard: How do you know it wasn't Leonard?
Raj: Come on.
Bernadette: Wow, you really do love her.
Sheldon: I do. Now, let's find the kind of gift that makes her feel small and worthless.
Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?
