That girl's so whack, her first name should be knick knack paddy.

Man I love the workplace, fluorescent lighting, stale coffee and the sweet sound of men quoting classic comedies.

It's like a slinky with breasts.

And time, 3 minutes and 7 seconds til she mentioned the guy she's dating.

Look at all this hair, I look like Gene Wilder.

My top half is at a museum fundraiser and my bottom half is selling veggie burritos in the parking lot outside a Widespread Panic concert!

Um when was this photo taken and why are you making the Kobe Bryant intensity face?

Dude you gotta stop referring to yourself as a restaurant. Restaurants don't have windshield wipers.

He's talking about his Batman and Throbbin'.

I love when Mer-bear let's herself laugh.

Happy Endings Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."