Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Claire Dunphy Quotes
Claire: You gonna put some blood on that? Maybe dangle an eyeball?
Phil: Who hurt you? I'm kidding, I know it's Jay and Dede.
Claire: Welcome to the insane asylum of from hell!
Phil: That's what it feels like.
Phil: Sometimes a boy might be a good distraction. I remember a certain young lady who was pretty addicted to Miss Pacman until a dashing young gent caught her eye.
Claire: Only because you were wearing a feather earring.
Phil: It wasn't a feather, it was a dreamcatcher. And it worked.
Claire: Who's Victor? We never heard about him.
Haley: Oh because I knew you'd never let me go out with an ex con.
Sweetheart you've had 2 boyfriends in 30 seconds, that's practically Haley's record!
Claire: Don't you need to check IDs?
Bouncer: No sorry, we don't offer a senior discount.
Claire: We are having fun.
Mitchell: You are. I'm just doing what you're making me do.
I know you think you discovered the new you, but you're controlling even when you're trying to not be controlling.
Mitchell [to Claire]
Haley [smells pot]: Hey! Smells like a party!
Claire: Back inside.
Haley: Ok.
Claire: Well hello! How is your first day back in the closet...business?
Mitchell: That makes no sense, I've never worked here before.
Claire: It's just a gay joke Mitchell. Don't over-think it.
Oh c'mon please, my dad is Ms. Dunphy, I'm just Claire!
Claire: What party?
Mitchell: Aw the two saddest words in the English language.
