Favorite Dan Humphrey Quotes
Olivia: Dan, that is all acting.
Dan: Well, reigning blog opinion seems to be that acting with your boyfriend without your clothes on, it's, well, it's a sex tape.
Dan: Where the hell is Blair? If she didn't want to go to Rome with me she should have just said so.
Serena: Something came up.
Dan: Is she with Chuck?
Serena: No, of course not. She's with Eleanor. But she knows how important this is and she really wants to go. So she sent me in her place.
Dan: You're not really helping.
Serena: I don't know. He just said we made an interesting couple.
Dan: Not in a good way.
Dan: Isn't that the girl who told the entire school and, oh, several colleges, that you had a drug problem?
Serena: Yeah. But, you know, Blair can be a little... Blair. (they chuckle) We are actually trying to work things out. Today is our first day hanging out together. Alone.
Dan: Uh uh.
Serena: Uh uh. (laughs) So I should probably get back.
Dan: Yeah, sure.
Serena: But call me sometimes. So we can get together and do that thing you didn't ask me to do
Dan: Please, please, give me a break with the rich-people-suck thing.
Vanessa: I don't care if you're rich - which you are, by the way - but if you're going to live in that world, be yourself in that world.
Dan: Um, you know that story I wrote that Louis killed.
Blair: It's in the book. Yeah, I figured. But if it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to stay in the dark about just how nastily you've portrayed me.
Dan: Yeah, that's a good idea. You know, we're just recently friends again. Why ruin a good thing.
Blair: Yep. And, ah, I'm sorry in advance, but I have a better offer than your party tonight. Louis and I are telling our families the news.
Dan: Good luck.
Blair: You too. Your novel seems to be very well-punctuated and I... like the font.
Okay, let me get this straight. You want me to cancel on Vanessa, who's going to be justifiably furious, to write a Snow White Lady Gaga musical directed by Blair Waldorf?
Chuck: Success comes at a price. The artist must stand alone to observe the crowd, right?
Dan: That's funny. Vanessa said the same thing.
Dan: [on phone, walking away] I don't like lying to my girlfriend. Serena has a right to know what's going on.
Isabel: Oh my god, we have to tell Serena.
Nelly: Tell her what? We don't know what he's lying about.
Penelope: Why are you talking? Last I checked you were still on probation.
I read like five self-help blogs on how to turns friends into lovers. Yes, they used that word.
Blair: You know after my theatrics at the Young Lions Club, it's time I quit my moping. And get back in touch with what it truly means to be the Blair Waldorf.
Dan: That's right. OGB. Original Gangsta Blair.
Blair: Exactly. I need to find that Blair again. And what better place to look for her than at the Met, surrounded by some of my favorite paintings.
Dan: You better not meet any princes this time.
Blair: You don't need to worry, believe me. I'm done with fairy tales. It's time to be real again.
Dan: Oh, Dad. We were just, um... we're busted.
Rufus: I don't like the two of you being alone here when I'm not.
Dan: You're kidding, right?
Rufus: This is my home and I would appreciate it if you respected that.
Blair: Did you find your inspiration?
Dan: Yes. But the only problem is it's in Rome.
