Favorite Dan Humphrey Quotes
Dan: For someone who's just a friend you're really good at choreographing reasons for us to kiss.
Blair: That's because I'm willing to suffer for love.
Dan: Whatever you say. Just don't get too handsy.
Serena: But you guys are my two closest friends. Why couldn't you just tell me that?
Dan: I was hoping it would go away.
Blair: I was humiliated. Which is why we kissed.
Dan: To make sure nothing else was going on to complicate us or hurt you.
Serena: And?
Blair: Biggest regret of my life.
Dan: I mean that's a little bit of an overstatement, but yeah, it was not a good kiss.
Jenny: It's so weird that you're on a team now. Pretty soon you're going to have actual guy friends.
Dan: What are you talking about? I have plenty of guy friends.
Jenny: Dan, I know that you're Mr. Soccer now, but you and I both know you prefer to hang out with girls.
Charlie: I saw the kiss. I think you really like her.
Dan: You might be right. I've been trying to convince myself that I could handle being friends with her, but I realized tonight that I can't.
Blair: I don't understand, are you following me now?
Louis: No Blair.
Blair: Actually, it's fine if you are. Because I can do this in person then.
Dan: Louis is not here for you.
Blair: He's not? What the hell's going on?
Dan: Louis didn't meet you tonight because he was helping me.
Jenny: I mean, how could I have actually thought Chuck Bass just wanted to talk to me?
Dan: Becuase you trust people. Which is normally a good thing.
Jenny: Yeah, except when it involves Chuck.
Dan: Yeah pretty much
Blair: Let's make it clear from the start. We don't know each other here.
Dan: [pauses] Works for me.
Vanessa: Me too.
Rufus: Well for what it's worth, when Lily and I started hanging out again, neither of us wanted anyone else to know. But friendship can be an excuse—a cover when there's something more you don't want to admit, or you're too scared to explore.
Dan: No... no. No. I mean, there's no way. I mean even the thought of that is—
Rufus: Scary.
Dan: No, I mean we're not even friends. I swear... we're not.
Dan: Chuck. Hey man, I was just stopping by to see Nate but I guess he's not here.
Chuck: He's in his room.
Dan: Oh he is? He's... not in class? I would have thought—
Chuck: You don't really know how to stage a run-in, do you?
Blair: Is the pedal to the metal? Because I swear if I shove my feet through the floor I could run faster. At least there's no radio so I'm spared your horrid taste in music. I think we were supposed to turn there.
Dan: You know I'd tell you to stop being such a back seat driver but how can you be one when you don't even know how to drive.
Blair: I offered to get us a car service. Professional driver, comfortable seats, champagne!
Dan: We're on a mission here.
Dan: I can't believe Nate Archibald is a gigolo.
Vanessa: You can't tell anyone!
Dan: Who? Who would I tell? Except everyone I've ever met. [pauses] I won't.
Nate: (re: Vanessa) I saw a DVD of The Ring Cycle at her house and I figured she might like some champagne in my family's box.
Dan: Yeah, that's good, that's good. Don't tell her you saw that DVD though, because I pointed it out once and she made me watch the whole thing with no subtitles. If you've ever seen Clockwork Orange, then you know how that ended up.
Nate: What's a clockwork orange?
