Popular Edie Britt Quotes
My necklace! Oh, you know, I lent this to Martha three months ago, and she said that it went down the drain. Oh, I miss how we used to steal things from one another
Susan: Do you believe in evil Edie?
Edie: Of course I do, I work in real estate
Edie [to Bill]: Your foreman said that you were out on a date with a hottie. Evidently, someone's in need of Lasik.
Susan: You tracked us down.
Edie: Oh, well, it wasn't hard. I just followed the stench of betrayal. We had an agreement, Susan.
Susan: No, we didn't. You know I just said what you wanted to hear because you guilted me into it.
Edie: I was trying to protect our already fragile friendship.
Bill: Am I in the middle of something here?
Edie: Not anymore. You... (to Susan) ...I will hate forever. And you... (to Bill) ...are fired.
Susan: Edie!
Bill: You're firing me because I'm going out with Susan?
Edie: Yes, and before you start whining that dating her is punishment enough, save it
Edie: Susan, you know I try. I try to look past your flaws, your klutziness, that, that faux vulnerability, your hair, but you look for ways to push my buttons.
Susan: He just wants to buy me a burrito
Edie: When I feel threatened by a woman, I pull her in, I make her my best friend.
Lynette: I thought you said you didn't have any female friends.
Edie: I don't. And I've never felt threatened by a woman either. But the point is, keep your friends close...
Lynette: ...Keep your enemies closer
You could have an affair with anyone and you choose the pharmacist? You are such a Republican
Edie: You said you two were finished. You thought he was a murderer.
Susan: And that was your cue to come over and flirt?! You wasted your time... and your doughnuts.
Edie: Not if you choke on them
Cyrus: Ms. Britt, you look extra beautiful today.
Edie: Oh, Cyrus, you're so sweet.
Cyrus: So anyhow, I was wondering if maybe I could, uh, take you out to dinner sometime.
Edie: Oh honey... you are so far out of your league that you are playing a completely different sport
Edie: You don't have the guts.
Susan: In five seconds, I'm gonna punch it.
Edie: (holds up a set of keys) Yeah? I'll key your car!
Susan: Not if you're sucking my exhaust, you won't.
Edie: Take back what you said!
Susan: No, I won't!
Edie: Admit it, you'd do anything to destroy my happiness!
Susan: Edie, for God's sake. Why would I care if you end up with a man I despise?
Edie: 'Cause you and Mike are finished. Yeah, word's out. And now that you can't be happy, you don't want anyone else to be, period.
Susan: Edie, what are you doing?
Edie: You are a lying liar.
Susan: We're in the middle of the street. Would you get out of here?
Edie: Karl never said that!
Susan: Okay, Karl asked me to get back together the day after Julie's birthday. I said no, which I'm guessing is the reason for the now legendary tequila bra-popping incident. Please let go.
Edie: Oh, no. We're not finished here.
Susan: Well, yes, we are. I'm gonna go.
Edie: Karl said that you know all about our dirty little secret.
Susan: Yes, yes, I do.
Edie: Well, I feel awful. I should have told you that I was doing your ex. Well, it would've been the classy thing to do.
Susan: Well, etiquette is a lost art for a lot of people.
Edie: Oh, you've gotta believe me, I never, ever thought anything would happen with us. But on our first date, Karl took me to a Mexican restaurant. You know what I get like when I drink tequila. A couple of shooters and my bra unhooks itself.
Susan: Circumstances beyond your control. I get it. So if you'll excuse me.
Edie: Hey. Hey, hey. I am offering you an opportunity here. I mean, go ahead, vent. Let me have it. Come on, tell me what a bitch I am. Yeah, for snacking on your leftovers. I deserve it. Come on, bring it on.
Susan: Honestly, Edie, I don't mind. You can skate off into the sunset with Karl. Be my guest.
Edie: Well, that's good to know. You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but, while we were in my Jacuzzi last night, Karl said it was the best sex he's ever had, bar none.
Susan: Actually, I'm glad that you shared that, because here's a tidbit for you. Karl said he's still in love with me.
Oh God, look at all these things, all these beautiful things that my ex-husbands worked so hard for, burnt to a crisp
