Popular Edie Britt Quotes
All we have to do is find a guy who is willing to marry you. You know, come to think of it, a little prayer might not be such a bad idea after all.
Edie: (to Susan) This is Gary Grantham, your future ex-husband. Listen, I've got to meet a client, I've got to go, so just talk amongst yourselves and... you two make a very handsome couple.
Gary: Hi.
Susan: Hi.
Gary: So, you want to get married on Wednesday? Because Thursday and Friday I'm out of town.
Susan: Oh! Oh, yeah sure, that's... Wednesday's great...
Susan: (opens the door to Karl and Edie) Hi! What's going on?
Edie walks in, past Susan, without saying a word
Karl: Edie wants to discuss our littledeception.
Susan: Exactly how ugly is this gonna get?
Edie: (shouts from the other room) How long does it take to shut a door?!
Edie: When naughty children misbehave, they know that they're gonna get punished. Don't they?
Karl: Punished?
Susan: At this point, I'd like to point out that, uh, it was Karl...who proposed.
Edie: Karl, you are gonna throw me...an elaborate wedding.
Karl: Yes, of course, anything baby... How elaborate?
Edie: Well, figure out exactly what it is that you could afford, and triple it! (to Susan) As for you...
Susan: Ok. Now remember, I'm broke.
Edie: I'm well aware of your church mouse status. I don't intend to lift a finger during the planning and execution of this crushingly expensive wedding.
Susan: No. No, of course not. And anything I can do to help, uh, you know, I would, I could help with the engagement party... How's that?
Edie: Well, I wasn't planning on inviting you. But, I will need a
bartender. Oh, oh, and, um, make sure you come in through the back door.
(Susan and Karl walk in to find Edie standing beside Dr. Ron in the living room)
Susan: Well, I should go...
Edie: I'm not going to scream, or cry, or pound your faces in with a mallet, which, Lord knows, is my right. But what I will say is that you two are the most reprehensible excuses for human beings that I have ever met! (turns to Dr. Ron) Do you have anything to add?
(Dr. Ron pauses, then removes the flowers from the vase on the table, and hands the vase to Edie)
Edie: Right! What the hell... (throws the vase at Karl and Susan, who duck and run)
(to Susan) Whatever - I'm doing it, so keep your trap shut!
If you'll excuse me, I gotta go buy a wedding dress! Oh by the way, I'll be wearing white so that'll be a surprise for everybody!
Edie: Don't tell anyone but I'm planning a huge surprise for Karl!
Susan: Surprise?!
Edie: Yeah I put in together an engagement party tomorrow afternoon.
Julie: Oh Cool!
Edie: But that's not the surprise. Actually, it's gonna be a surprise wedding!
Edie: I have told every woman in this town that we are getting married and all you have to say to me is, 'I don't know'?
Karl: What else to do you want me to say? I'm sorry.
Edie: What's going on? Is there someone else? Oh my god!
(Edie drops the note and backs away. She turns around and sees a rake propped against the house. She walks toward the rake)
Karl: Oh, crap.
Gabrielle: Look, I think we all know that Karl is a dog. But let's face it, if these tramps were laying out the buffet, he wouldn't be chowing down!
Susan: Well, every situation is different and it's hard to judge until we know all the details. (all four women stare at Susan)
Susan: Which obviously I don't know, because how would I know. (the women continue staring at Susan)
Susan: She's a slutty, slutty whore, absolutely! (All the women smile and nod)
Edie: Yeah!
(At Gabrielle's house)
Edie: You know when Karl dumped you Susan, I thought that it was all your fault. Yeah, I figured that you were a nag or bad in bed. But now, but now I see that you were just a victim too. We have a bond, Susan. Like we're sisters. There's even a pretty one and an ugly one.
Bree: Edie!
Edie: Oh I'm just saying that Karl screwed us both!
Susan: Yes, like you wouldn't believe.
Edie: (to Susan) You know, when Karl dumped you I thought that it was all your fault, I figured that you were nag or bad in bed but, now I see that you were just a victim too, we have a bond Susan, It's like we're sisters. There's even a pretty one and an ugly one!
Bree: Edie!
Edie: Oh I'm just saying that Karl screwed us both!
Susan: Yes, like you wouldn't believe!
