Favorite Elliot Reid Quotes
Carla: Elliot, there's no excuse for what I did.
Elliot: No, there's not... Are we done?
Carla: I'm really sorry.
Elliot: Don't be. If I was going out with my friend, I wouldn't invite you... Who am I kidding. Yes, I would, and she'd probably like you better and neither one of you would ever talk to me again
J.D.'s Narration: Ahhh, the Walk of Shame. All you can really hope for is a supportive friend to help you get through it.
J.D.: Elliot got some booty! Some booty! Some what? What? Elliot got some-
Elliot: Stop it!
J.D.: What? It's my "Elliot Got Some Booty" dance... Oh, come on! Elliot, it's not like anybody else knows.
Dr. Cox: What's up, porn star?
Laverne: Somebody toasted that marshmallow!
Elliot: Well?
J.D.: Somebody got some a-action! She got some aaaction!
Elliot: So, I let myself get taken advantage of, sometimes; you know. I mean, big deal - how do you make friends?
Jordan: Look, I've seen your type before. You're that girl that convinced herself she wanted to lose her virginity at a frat party while another guy was asleep in the room.
Elliot: Chaz really cared for me.
Jordan: Ah, I know; and I'm sure you have a cool "Jungle Party" t-shirt to prove it. Now, can we please finish this physical? And, I can't pee right now, so you'll have to go for me
Carla: Elliot, you know how they say no one will ever love you until you learn to love yourself?
Elliot: My mother used to say, "No one will ever love you."
Kim: J.D. is better at sex, Sean is better at foreplay
Elliot: J.D. is great at foreplay. He just takes the play part literally, so you got to embrace all of his games. "Nooks and Crannies," "Upsies Daises"...
Kim: "Who's in there?" ... Followed afterward by "What's in there?"
Elliot: "Mr Peep Tries on Hats" ...
Kim: Love that one!
When I was little, my mom told me my farts were little demons crawling around in my belly and if I let one out it'd give my grandmother cancer
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, you do realize you don't work here anymore
Kelso: Look, her husband was an old friend of mine, plus I have forgotten more medicine than you two will ever know. [to Denise] I don't know you but I assume I have you beat because you're blond and rolling with ms reeks of beer
Elliot: It's my hair, okay?
Denise: And watch the lip, grandpa, because you wouldn't be the first old man I beat up
Kelso: I like her, she has girl balls
Turk: Bonnie is killing me; I'm telling you, I cannot beat this woman no matter what I try! She's like a ninja but worse!
J.D.: Nothing's worse than a ninja - they're masters of every style of combat.
Carla: Can we please talk about something other than Bonnie?
Elliot: I think you should give Bonnie a break. You know, it's really hard being a woman around here... you can walk through walls and nobody notices you.
J.D.: Not entirely unlike... a ninja!
Elliot: Besides me, can you even name one other woman you're friends with?
Turk: Carla and a lovely woman by the name Margret
Elliot: Carla is your wife and Margret is your mother
Turk: Elliot, do not talk about my momma or I will punch you in the head
Elliot: What is that?
J.D.: It's our baby's crib.
Elliot: It looks like a trap. You trying to catch someone else's baby?
Dr. Cox: All right, Will and Grace: break down.
Elliot: Judging by Mr. Barnes' elevated lipase, I'd say it's pancreatitis.
Dr. Cox [to J.D.]: Okay, Grace, you wanna finish?
Elliot: Doctor Cox...
Dr. Cox: And there you are.
Elliot: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: I was just now wondering if there is anything that could actually push my headache into a full-blown migrane and there you are. What's the story on the adbit in sixty-four?
Elliot: She's great! I really like her!
Dr. Cox: Yeah, let's see if you can't focus on things that I actually give a rat's ass about
