Favorite Elliot Reid Quotes
Carla: Elliot, you know how they say no one will ever love you until you learn to love yourself?
Elliot: My mother used to say, "No one will ever love you."
Elliot: Of course I'm holding back! I'm insane, you idiot! Remember the other day, when you told me that I had pit stains? Well, I have cried every fifteen minutes on the half-hour since you told me that. I am wracked with self-doubt. I have panic attacks. I'm claustrophobic, germaphobic, phobiaphobic. I talk to myself. I talk to my cat. I talk to three separate shrinks about the fact that often my cats respond to me in my mother's voice. And yesterday, when that stupid pretty surgical nurse handed you a pair of latex gloves, I almost killed the guy whose leg I was stitching up because I couldn't stop thinking about the two of you having sex on a box of steaks! Why a box of steaks? 'Cause my dad had an affair with a female butcher! And, as I mentioned before, I am insane. There! I opened up! Are you happy?
Paul: No. I'm incredibly turned on.
Elliot: Speaking of Heparin, have you slept with Turk yet?
Carla: What!?
Elliot: I'm sorry, I'm-no, I'm sorry...too personal.
Carla: I like to wait. I like a guy to want it so bad he basically thinks he isn't gonna get it ever. Then when he's lost the will to live, that's when I jump him.
Elliot: So, how long does that usually-
Carla: A month, maybe two. What about you?
Elliot: I like to use sex as an ice-breaker.
Carla: Ah. And how's that working out for you?
Elliot: I guess I don't have what you would call high self-esteem
Elliot: Doctor Cox...
Dr. Cox: And there you are.
Elliot: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: I was just now wondering if there is anything that could actually push my headache into a full-blown migrane and there you are. What's the story on the adbit in sixty-four?
Elliot: She's great! I really like her!
Dr. Cox: Yeah, let's see if you can't focus on things that I actually give a rat's ass about
Elliot: Janitor, have you ever looked at yourself and wished that you were different in every single way?
Janitor: No. I'm a winner.
Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this shade of red make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, barbie, no...it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively to clowns.
Elliot: We-we really shouldn't feel weird about this. I mean, these things like this happen all the time.
J.D.: All the time!
Elliot: Yeah, it's, uh, it's really not a big deal.
J.D.: It's not a big deal!
Elliot: Okay, you've gotta stop repeating everything I say in that weird tone of voice.
J.D.: No more repeating
Dr. Cox: All right, Will and Grace: break down.
Elliot: Judging by Mr. Barnes' elevated lipase, I'd say it's pancreatitis.
Dr. Cox [to J.D.]: Okay, Grace, you wanna finish?
Carla: Your hair smells like Elliot's.
J.D.: Well, your breath smells like chimichangas!
Carla: Is that racist?
Elliot: That depends. Did you have chimichangas for breakfast?
Carla: Maybe...
Elliot: I love her! Turk, do you know what I would give to have a female attending like her pushing me not to let the fact that I'm a woman hold me back? I mean... you have no idea how hard it is.
Turk: I have no idea?
Elliot: Look, I'm not gonna fight about whether in medicine it's harder being black or a woman.
Turk: Black!
Elliot: Woman!
A black female doctor passes them.
Turk: Much prop, Dr. Rhodes.
Elliot: Mm.
Turk: Go get 'em.
J.D.'s Narration: I think that the problem with most people who want what they can't have is that, when they actually get the thing they covet, they don't want it anymore. But not this guy.
Elliot: Well, Dr. Dorian, you have me. You finally have me.
She snuggles close to him, and he finally takes a moment to realize what he has
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, my God! I DON'T WANT HER!
Elliot: So, I let myself get taken advantage of, sometimes; you know. I mean, big deal - how do you make friends?
Jordan: Look, I've seen your type before. You're that girl that convinced herself she wanted to lose her virginity at a frat party while another guy was asleep in the room.
Elliot: Chaz really cared for me.
Jordan: Ah, I know; and I'm sure you have a cool "Jungle Party" t-shirt to prove it. Now, can we please finish this physical? And, I can't pee right now, so you'll have to go for me
