Elliot Reid Quotes
Elliot: Just because I occasionally say something stupid doesn't mean I'm in the hospital going door to door annoying people, like some crazed Jehovah's Witness. Oh. You're not?
Turk: No. But my mother is.
J.D.: He's black, too. You should tease him about that
Dr. Kelso: Oh, uh, Dr. Reid. I just wanted to say you're out of my dog house. That was a great catch on that patient with meningoccocus.
Elliot: Well, that actually wasn't me, sir. Carla noticed the rash on his legs.
Dr. Kelso: Well, that's fascinating. You could have fallen back into my good graces, and instead you passed the credit on to a nurse. How noble! I'll tell you what, I'll get the cafeteria staff to write "Was it worth it?" on a big cake for you!
Elliot: Your dog is creepy.
J.D.: Aww...be nice to Rowdy. The guy we bought him from used to keep him in a box full of old hats
Elliot: Uh, Dr. Kelso! You're the Chief of Medicine, is there a special way to communicate with the nursing staff that I'm not getting?
Dr. Kelso: Well, uh, sugar won't work because they're already so sweet. Now, listen Dr...Whatever-the-hell-your-name-is, you tattled yesterday, I responded - I feel closer to you than ever, really - but the ramifications are yours. So don't try to drag me into your pathetic, whiny, little squabble with that God-awful bunch of malcontents. I hope you all kill each other! Have a great day, ladies
Elliot: Look, Turk, I know that I don't always make the best first impression...or second, for that matter. Anyway, I'd like us to be friends, and I thought, you know, maybe I could get to know you a bit better...see what you're about, uh, for instance, when did you meet Morgan Freeman?
Turk: That's my mom.
Elliot: ...I like her freckles
Elliot: So every male in my family is a doctor: My dad, my grand-dad and my brother. I guess that's why dad gave me a guy's name....made me play sports....date girls. I'm joking.
J.D.: I know. I would have laughed if you'd paused
Elliot: I just hate it. I hate the "darlins" I hate the "sweethearts" ...
Carla: You don't need to tell me how hard it is being a woman around here.
Elliot: Well, you're certainly furthering the cause by wearing a thong to work and hooking up in the on-call room. Word gets around.
Carla: You talk like that, do you even know my name? I spend every second of my life either here, or taking care of my mom. So, yeah, maybe I needed a little closeness. I'm sure you never had a quickie at the club, right? Or snuck some skinny, flat-butted college boy up to your sorority room. And my thong? I happen to think it makes my ass look good. And some days, I need to feel good about something around here. And you judge me? Well, guess what, word does get around, Miss "Out For Herself", so you can dump on everyone here if you want; but you will not hurt me.
J.D.: Her name's Carla, by the way
J.D.: The medical interns are having a Pac Man tournament. Apparently we're all twelve.
Elliot: I love Pac Man.
J.D.: Me too. I love watching it, I love playing it, I love all of it
Elliot: Anyway, I know what you're thinking.
J.D.'s narration: Your butt looks like two Pringles hugging.
J.D.: No you don
Dr. Kelso: The necrosis and infected stool most likely indicate what, Dr... Dorian?
[J.D. looks to Elliot for help]
Elliot [whispers]: I don't know
J.D.: Sir, I have no idea.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, can you help him out?
Elliot: I'd say it's superior mesenteric insufficiency
J.D.: I thought we cared about each other...
Elliot: Oh please, if you didn't want to sleep with me, you'd have done the same thing.
J.D.: Well, I'll tell you one thing, the last thing in the world I wanna do is sleep wit'cha now!
Elliot: Do me right here.
J.D.: Okay.
Elliot: See!
If you're talking about getting the Bursky autopsy, I already called the family for you. And they said fine, and to thank you, and I'm sorry... They didn't say that last part, I did.
