Elliot Reid Quotes
Elliot: At what point did I become a crazy person?
J.D.: Oh, come on. Yes, exposing yourself to a dead guy might have been a tad unorthodox; and yes, it might be a little hard to live down....
Elliot: I'm waiting for the "but."
J.D.: So is everyone else in the hospital
Turk: You wanna show a woman you know her, you gotta buy her a little somethin'-somethin'. I'm gonna buy her flowers.
Todd: Yeah!
Elliot: Please, it's been done to death.
Turk: How 'bout chocolates?
Elliot: Mmm! With rich, cliché centers?
Elliot: I called down and requested a Spanish-speaking nurse. So...no English, huh? I'm a chunky monkey from funky town.
Carla: I'm gonna have a little trouble translating that
Elliot: Speaking of Heparin, have you slept with Turk yet?
Carla: What!?
Elliot: I'm sorry, I'm-no, I'm sorry...too personal.
Carla: I like to wait. I like a guy to want it so bad he basically thinks he isn't gonna get it ever. Then when he's lost the will to live, that's when I jump him.
Elliot: So, how long does that usually-
Carla: A month, maybe two. What about you?
Elliot: I like to use sex as an ice-breaker.
Carla: Ah. And how's that working out for you?
Elliot: I guess I don't have what you would call high self-esteem
Kelso: Dr. Reid, when did you become homeless?
Elliot: These are just my cookie pants
Kelso: These are my muffin pants. I've been wearing them since I retired
Turk: Elliot, are you sick?
Elliot: No, i just don't have makeup on
Turk: You look pretty
Elliot: Besides me, can you even name one other woman you're friends with?
Turk: Carla and a lovely woman by the name Margret
Elliot: Carla is your wife and Margret is your mother
Turk: Elliot, do not talk about my momma or I will punch you in the head
Elliot: On the one hand, I know Dr. Kelso doesn't mean anything by it. And, okay, maybe I am kind of a sweetheart...
Dr. Cox: I'm sleeping.
Elliot: On the other hand, it just sounds so demeaning! You know?
Dr. Cox: Mother of God, you're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you.
Elliot: I mean, it's not like he's my grandpa or anything. Anyway, J.D. always tells me how you've helped him out...
Dr. Cox: Well, he obviously hasn't told you about my ear-flicking policy, has he. Look! This whole "groovy guidance counselor" thing you people seem to have working is a total fantasy. I'm not that guy, you can go and ask anybody. Now, you've got to leave me alone, or I'll punish you
Elliot: Our shifts keep overlapping on Friday nights.
J.D.: It's the closest thing I've had to a date, recently.
Elliot: Well, I had a great time tonight.
J.D.: Oh, yeah, me too. So... can I page you?
Elliot: You better. And don't do the whole two-day waiting thing.
J.D.: Oh, baby, I don't play by the rules
Elliot: It's that, it's the sweetheart thing. It just doesn't hit me right. I'm a doctor, and it seems sort of...disrespectful.
Dr. Kelso: Oh? I've always called the young men "sport" and the young women "sweetheart".
Elliot: But, you called Becky "sport".
Dr. Kelso: Oh...well, I am so sorry...sport. It must be one of those bad habits I've developed after working in the medical field for over thirty years.
Elliot: Th-thirty years? But... you look so young!
Elliot: The first few weeks here have been so hard for me, mentally, physically, emotionally. It's like math camp all over again. Not that I've ever been to math camp - it's just an expression.
J.D.: I use it all the time
J.D.'s narration: In my experience, when two friends miss an opportunity like this, you've got exactly 48 hours to get the kiss. Oherwise, one of you will over-think it. Okay, she's gonna over-think it. Then you end up permanently stuck in the Friend Zone.
[J.D. tries to kiss Elliot]
Elliot: I'll see ya.
Sleeping Patient: You're such a girl.
