Principal Skinner: Pull, Willie, pull!
Groundskeeper Willie: I'm doin' all the pulling, you blouse-wearing poodle-walker!

My mule wouldn't walk in the mud. So I had to put seventeen bullets in him.

Groundskeeper Willie:(Singing) When you're alone, and life is getting you lonely, ye can always go, ACK! Doontoon.
Apu: Next

I didn't cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but I'll cry now.

Ahhh Wolfie, don't feel bad for losin'. I been wreslin' wolves since you were at your mother's teat.

Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds!

Willie: I'll have to use explosives.
Bart: Explosives? Great! [takes out map] If we put charges on the load bearing walls, we can blow up detention hall, leaving art class okay.
Willie: Hmm?
Bart: What! I like art, okay?
Willie: I'm blowing up the stump, not the school.
Bart: Right right, you never saw that.

(While hearing Lisa's bad saxophone playing) Sounds like the gopher I caught in me lawnmower.

Bart: Willie, I know you witnessed the most awesome prank since creation.
Willie: I'll nay speak to you of those dark times, Bart Simpson.
Bart: But if there was a more awesome dude than I, I need to know who he was, what he did and how many days detention he got.

Groundskeeper Willie: Come on ya pansies, I've seen fiercer fights in parliament
Sideshow Mel: What is this, prime minister's question time?

The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

</i> Abe