Favorite Hermes Quotes
Bender: Bite my freshly-molted, blubber-filled ass.
Hermes: You're just a giant lump of fat. Do you even have an ass under there?
Bender: I'm 40% ass! Arf arf!
12 straight hours of limbo - I haven't done that since my honeymoon.
Hermes: Push harder, Bender.
Bender: I can't. You should have called my cousin, Turner.
Hermes: People, as company bureaucrat, I will today be performing the annual performance review - with a twist!
Fry: Oh no, the firing tie!
Hermes: Correct. I will be evaluating each of you, and the lowest-rated employee - possibly Zoidberg - will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: Hohohohoho. Classic Hermes.
Bender: It's been quite a journey. I dropped out of school, joined a gang, took money from a loan shark, and fell into a spiral of despair, addiction, and discount prostitution.
Hermes: Mon, you had one hell of a day.
Hermes: I'm going to jump!
Amy: No!
Zoidberg: No!
Bender: Do a flip!
Zoidberg: You don't understand, he was the only one who cared enough to insult me! I'll never see Hermes again!
Hermes: On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again.
Mon, I'm hungrier than a green snake in a sugar cane field!
Hermes: I miss my wife and me oxygen.
Farnsworth: Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gasses.
Leela: It's just that I get tired of Fry always only thinking of himself.
Hermes: I hear that! I aks him to set the table, instead he goes out to buy you a present. Selfish dog.
Zoidberg: Amy, this is for you. A set of combs for your beautiful hair.
Amy: Oh, that's so sweet. But I sold my hair to a wigmaker so I could buy a set of combs for Hermes.
Hermes: Oh, the irony. I sold my hair so I could buy this third set of combs for Zoidberg.
Sweet manatee of Galilee!
