Zoidberg: You, a bobsledder? That I'd like to see!
Hermes: Listen, you filthy crab, a thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders.
Fry: Yup, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.
Hermes: A true inspiration for the children.

Fry: This dumb holiday just makes me think of all the things I left behind. Let's just stop talking about Xmas.
Hermes: Happy Xmas, Xmas people! Xmas cards have arrived! Xmas! Amy, there you go. Fry, Professor, Zoidberg, a mighty haul for Bender.
Bender: Yes! I got the most! I win Xmas!

Farnsworth: You should be ashamed of yourself, Fry. You'd have to be blind not to notice that Leela's a cyclops.
Hermes: Fry's over there, man.

Amy: Where are you going, Bender?
Bender: To volunteer at a liquor kitchen for homeless robots.
Hermes: Yeah, right! As if you ever did anything charitable.
Bender: I'm very generous. What about that time I gave blood?
Fry: Whose blood?
Bender: Some guy's.

Leela: It's just that I get tired of Fry always only thinking of himself.
Hermes: I hear that! I aks him to set the table, instead he goes out to buy you a present. Selfish dog.

Sweet manatee of Galilee!

Leela: What's the mission?
Farnsworth: It's a delivery for the Democratic Order Of Planets.
Fry: DOOP? What's that?
Farnsworth: It's similar to the United Nations from your time, Fry.
Fry: Uh...
Hermes: Or like the Federation from your Star Trek programme.
Fry: Oh!

Farnsworth: I'd like everyone to meet our new employees. Which ones are new?
Hermes: The green dude and the fat man.
Farnsworth: Hmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either.
Bender: I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal.
Farnsworth: Oh, yes, yes. My good friend, of course. Anyway, whoever you all are, I have good news. You'll be making a delivery to Stumbos 4, a planet with such high gravity you'll most likely be crushed under the weight of your own hair. Enjoy!

Farnsworth: Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.
Bender: My God! I'm overcome with... feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.
Zoidberg: That's me, baby!
Farnsworth: Hmm.
Bender: Now I'm worried that I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her.
Amy: Uh... that's me.
Fry: Thanks for covering.
Bender: This time I miss Nibbler and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
Amy: Bingo!
Hermes: That's Leela!

Amy: Hey, look at Nibbler!
Hermes: Aww, he's holding a spoon.
Zoidberg: He's so talented!

Professor: We've been hired to make our 100th building delivery!
Hermes: That's nearly ten per year.

Hermes: Push harder, Bender.
Bender: I can't. You should have called my cousin, Turner.

Futurama Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

My job? Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets, plus that one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare.