Homer Simpson Quotes
Man, this website makes talking drunk to my wife so much safer.
They know I'm doing a character. Like Stephen Colbert or Newt Gingrich.
Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"
Bloody harry. he brought back beheading in a big way.My daughter thinks I'm a ruthless tyrant like Hitler or Prince Harry. Homer
I just like to dress up to eat carrots and smoke.
Homer: How would you like to have future sex?
Marge: Why do you say future this is now?
Homer: I meant a week from tomorrow. That's when the new penis gets here.
Annie: I was so mad at him, I didn't have sex with a clown for five months!
Homer: What about mimes?
Annie: Come on, I'm not made of stone.
Homer: Can you be my dad?
Robert: If your mom was a secretary, there's a good chance I am.
Robert: There ain't enough bourbon in kentucky for you big guy.
Homer: Yeah, the governor wrote me a letter to that effect.
Robert: I have to warn you, account men have no souls.
Homer: Woohoo! No more church!
Homer: It's not illegal to sleep inside a tyrannosaurus head.
Security Guard: Sir, you're inside an allosaurus.
Homer: I demand to speak to my paleontologist.
British Fonzie is right.