The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
Oliver Northhe was just poured into that uniform.
Homer: Yes son, you can have an electric guitar just like your old man!
Bart: Dad, I'm asking if I can get a job.
Homer: Gig, son. When you're a musician, a job is called a gig.
You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
Lisa: If I ever become famous, I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad.
Bart: Obnoxious fad?
Homer: Aw, don't worry, son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel--that little snot boy! I'd like to smash that kid!
Lisa: I've got a weekend job helping the poor and I'm only eight.
Homer: That's not a job, it's a waste of time. What can poor people pay you? Nothing! What satisfaction you get from helping them? None! Who wants to help poor people anyway? Nobody!
Whaddaya mean, you lost him? He might have fallen into one of these machines! (Sees Bart's hat on a box) Oh, my God, that's his lucky red hat. He's a box! My boy's a box! Damn you, a box!
Lisa: And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catch phrase.
Homer: (slips as he leans on his elbow and breaks a lamp) D'oh!
Bart: Ay, caramba!
Marge: (Grumbling) Mmmmmmmm!
Maggie: (pacifier sucking noise)
Ned Flanders: Hidely-ho!
Barney: (Belches)
Nelson: HA, HAAAH!
Mr. Burns: Ex-cellent!
(Long pause, then everyone stares at Lisa)
Lisa: If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
Homer: What kind of catch phrase is that?
Jimbo: You let me down, man! Now I don't believe in nothin'! I'm goin' to law school!
Homer: NOOOOOOOO!!!
Homer: No burning leaves without a permit!
Man: But I have one!
Homer: Too late!
Marge: I don't think the guns are a good idea!
Homer: Marge! We're responsible adults a--
(Gun shot)
Moe: Whoops!
Homer: And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way--
(Gun shot)
Captain McCallister: Sorry!
(gun shot)
Principal Skinner: Uh oh!
(Gun shot)
Moe: Me again...
(Gun shot)
Bart: Sorry.
So I said to him, "Look buddy, your car was upside-down when we got here. And as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that."
